Yes is a great word. It’s full of positivity, hope, and opportunity. We thrive and grow on yes. And suddenly kids come along and that yes is flipped to a no as we naturally tune into our parental frequency of protection and hit the automatic button of no.
No is given its time to shine when we’re worried the kids are eating too many sweets, swinging too high, running too fast. No keeps the rules in place and is full of good intentions. But saying yes, oh yes, is an eye-opening experience if we play around with it a little bit, open ourselves to its possibilities and see that we can balance our many no’s with as many yes’s.
Yes Flips The Strength Of A No
If we said no all of the time, that no becomes an unparalleled automatic response and can end up being ignored as it loses its value, importance, and weight. But when we start saying yes that little bit more, all of those yes’s flip the strength of our no to give it more meaning and purpose. It’s understood and appreciated more as we balance out the no’s against the yes’s.
Yes Promotes Responsibility
Yes has long come with a clause, a promise, a little bit of fine print. Kids can learn this early on when we give them a yes with a condition attached which they must fill. When they ask, “Can we go to the playground?”, we can say, “Yes! We will go to the playground when you tidy away your toys.” Adding this condition gives them responsibility for the scenario and their actions which has an influence on the decision.
Yes Promotes Decision Making
We can encourage our kids in good decision making by saying yes when we add that responsibility with a choice. They may ask if they can buy a toy out of their pocket money. We can say yes with the added clause of if they have enough money to buy it. If they don’t, they may choose something else to buy which is within their price range. Saying yes with choices gives them the opportunity to think and decide while turning that yes into something they have selected themselves.
Yes Promotes Generosity
We can pivot our yes to include others and encourage our children to think outside of themselves. Children are decidedly ego-centric meaning they often think solely of themselves in situations. It is a protection method deeply embedded in our minds and completely natural. However, we can instil behaviour in our kids which asks of them to be generous, to think of others, and be inclusive. So when they say, “Can I have an ice pop from the freezer?”, we can say, “Yes, if you get one for your little sister too.”