You talk to your mummy friend about teething gel and nappies, and in the next breath about The Kardashians.
When you are a mother it is invaluable to find some "mummy friends". Perhaps, like me, you met at a mother and baby group. Sounds quite cliche but realistically it’s a great place to meet other mums.
Fuelled by a rare hot coffee as your babies’ play, your eyes meet across the room. You see something in her, a familiar sight. She looks exhausted. Before you know it you are chatting like you’ve been friends for life. Bonding over the fact that you are one of the many mother’s whose baby does not in fact sleep through the night.
It could be sleep, cloth nappies, breastfeeding, bottles or vaccinations but you have a ridiculous amount to talk about. You manage to talk for an hour without feeling drained. Throughout the conversation you hop from topic to topic without ever really meaning to, and yet it feels completely normal. You swap war stories, talk about giving birth, and a healthy dose of complaining about your partner.
Where has she been all my life?
You don’t want to seem too forward, but somehow manage to pluck up the courage to ask her for a date. A play date that is. You tell your new mummy friend there’s coffee at your house, and toys, and sure if she needs a nappy or a wipe there’s plenty. She accepts and you make a plan.
Your first date
The day arrives and you are delighted to see that she has arrived wearing no make-up. She tells you about the amazing night of sleep she’s had, gleefully telling you that her baby slept for four hours in a row. You literally talk about this for a good hour.
“so you put her down on her side in the cot when she was asleep?” “I’m definitely going to try that tonight”.
“so tell me more about this dream feed? Apparently it makes your baby sleep through the night”.
You try both and report back at the next play date. And the next one. Before you know it this has become a weekly thing. You have your bad days and your good days and miraculously enough you never feel the pressure to put on a show. You can completely be yourself around her. She isn’t irritated or distracted by the sound of your baby cooing, crying or shouting. It’s completely familiar to her. There’s always coffee, always cake, and always some sort of diet talk. But it’s grand, sure didn’t you both just have a baby? Another slice of cake please.
And you are seriously grateful
Wondering what you would have done all of this time without your mummy friend. What once began as nappy talk has since become one of the most important friendships in your life. You’ve grown together as mums, and as women, throughout this whirlwind process of motherhood. You’ve picked each other up when life has knocked you down.
Before you know it, it’s almost a year later
And you are inviting her to your baby’s first birthday party. She has plans already but cancels them because she just can’t miss it. It feels like you are best friends now. Probably because you are. The babies will always be friends too, whether they like it or not.
Speaking of the babies, they still don’t sleep through the night. But you’ve both adjusted.
Apparently if you give the baby a bath exactly an hour before their bedtime…I must share this with my mummy friend. Any day now.