Why I stopped doing everything for my kids.
There comes a point where every parents is pushed to breaking point with our endless amounts of chores in the house, it has been reported that parents are nearing burnout and it is easy to see why.
Children have school work, activities and parties/events to keep up with and that is just them! Family life is busy and our family is no different.
As a work from home parent my role is somewhat mixed. I must do the stay at home role and bring kids to and from school, prepare dinners and lunches, keep the house tidy and do all the chores because I am at home, though I am working too!
In between all the chores and responsibilities, I must uphold a job, luckily, I work for myself but I have clients and obviously, commitments. Recently I found myself cleaning the kid’s rooms while I should have been working. Then later in the evening I was forced to work late at night to make up for the time I lost! I was being stupid and had to stop so recently I have banned myself from doing everything for the kids and have made them aware that they should help around the house now.
The children were expectant of my role, I do their lunches and ensure their bags are packed but in all honesty as older kids, they can do this themselves. Their rooms are an utter mess and I am refusing to go in and sort it out. Instead I have told the kids they should clear them out during the midterm. Now, I close their room doors over to avoid being tempted to clean it up.
I am encouraging them to bring their own clothes down and help with folding/putting away of all laundry so I can get in a few bits of work. I have given my eldest permission to make dinner once a week to give me a night off and she is happy to do it. Sure, she makes a mess but in fairness she cleans up afterwards and I am on hand if she requires support. Instead of me feeding the pets, again I have told the kids they must help. I explained that if they help me it will give us more time in the evening to chat or watch a movie as before I was too busy catching up on work, to sit down with them. I believe this will benefit us all, as a family.
I have myself decided that not having the cleanest house isn’t the worst thing and we don’t see anyone during the week so no one will care if the coffee table is shiny. However, if it does need a wipe I ask the little one to do it!
We need to raise kids to be self-sufficient, as parents we have lost the balance of providing them with the tools to be able to look after themselves by over parenting. This must stop as young people need to be responsible and once they leave home it is in their benefit to be self-sufficient, sometimes we need to learn to let go and STOP! Doing everything for the kids was burning me out and a burnt-out parent is no good to any child.
Stop doing everything for your kids too and don’t feel guilty about it!
Written by Emma Hayes, staff writer with Family Friendly HQ