Permissive Parenting - Are You Doing It?

Permissive parenting is one of the four original parenting styles that have been well known for many years.

Permissive parenting is one of the four original parenting styles that have been well known for many years.
It is deemed to be a style that encourages an over-indulgent parenting style, in which parents placate their children to an extensive amount and through this they forget to teach them properly.
While permissive parenting isn’t considered bad parenting, it is advised as being too inconsistent and laid-back. However, it does provide a loving and nurturing environment as parents choose to centre their lives around their children and put them first in every way that they can.
Children who are permissively parented are usually incredibly loved and feel emotionally stable.
The inevitable problem is that through all the loving nurture that parents avoid teaching their children and as teaching is a vital part of parenting this can cause some issues further down the line. Caring for their children to such an extent means that kids never learn how to do things themselves and are quite reliant on their parents for every aspect of their care and indeed, life.
For younger kids this isn’t a huge problem, but older kids may find this difficult when they are in school and are treated in the same regard as their classmates. These classmates may have better problem-solving skills and be more independent as a result.
Getting the right balance is vital and here are some of the signs that you may be permissive parenting:
  • Your child rules the roost! – Everything depends on your child! You may choose not to go to events or outings as they will not fit around your child’s life. You decide against leaving your child with anyone and cancel things to do what your kiddie likes.
  • Everything you do is for your kid – As above, you don’t take enough or any time for yourself, instead, you opt to live your life around your child. You have not seen friends in months and you have forgotten how to be alone without your child.
  • Your child can be rude to others – A kiddie who is constantly given what they want can become rude to others if faced with opposition. Your child may not be the centre of their teachers’ world and they will be treated the same as everyone else. This may be difficult for your kiddie who is used to being the main person in your life.
  • Whining is the normal behaviour of your child – If your child constantly whines or moans when you are talking to anyone else or trying to get some work done it shows that your little one is struggling when they don’t have your full attention. This isn’t good as kids need to feel safe and cared for when you are doing other things. It shouldn’t be expected that you must give full attention to them all the time and disregard others.
  • The good news is if you are being too lenient on your child you can turn it around by ignoring their whines and teach them to speak properly when they want your attention. Show your kid how to play with others and teach them how to do things themselves. Give them little chores around the house. When you have guests or want to talk to others refrain from stopping every time your child makes a demand – if they want a drink show them how to get one themselves. If they want to play remind them that you can later.
Permissive parenting isn’t bad, we all want to do things for our kids but be aware of the balance and don’t lose yourself in parenting as you are still YOU!
Written by Emma Hayes, Staff Writer, with Family Friendly HQ. 

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

Read more by Emma
{{ post.excerpt }}
{{ post.content.formatted }}

What is Family Friendly HQ?

Family Friendly HQ is Ireland’s trusted parenting community, dedicated to mums and dads, and families of all shapes and sizes.

Read more about us