Why does saying no to your kids feel so bad?
It is hard to say no to your children when you love them so much but sometimes, parents have to say no and you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing so.
Of course, it is easier said than done but being denied things you want is part and parcel of life so while you may find it hard to manage a toddler who gets used to getting what they want, it'll be worse when they become a teenager who demands the newest model of phones. Saying no as a parent is normal yet, it makes us feel so bad!
Here are some tips on saying no to your kids without feeling guilty:
Understand why saying “no” is important.
Saying the word "no" is not about letting your kids down - you can’t give your children everything in life. If you begin to say yes or bow to the pressure your kids put you under, you may leave yourself open to future problems.
The best way to raise your children is for them to know they have your love and support but saying yes to everything they want is not going to benefit them in the long-run.
The pressure to be the best parent.
Never think that you can’t be a good parent just because you say no to your kids and while your kids may get mad at you when you do, you must understand this is normal.
Parents feel a huge amount of pressure on them to be the ideal parent and sometimes, you can make decisions to keep an amicable relationship with your kids.
This is particularly true for parents of teenagers who have tremendous pressure on them from their older children to go places and to give them the freedom they seek. In parenting, it is impossible to come away from these situations well as if you say yes, you’ll worry about your child and struggle with the aftermath if it goes wrong and if you say no, it may cause an argument.
Teenagers know this and they will always try and test you while telling you all the other kids are doing these things. Remember, you aren’t them and they may not be right about the other parents and even if they are, why should you follow suit?
Behaviour is important.
Often when parents say no, kids will misbehave and drive their parents mad with screaming (if they are younger) or ignoring parents for the older kids. This perfectly illustrates their need to get what they want and shows why it is important that you say no instead of bowing to their very real pressure.
Children need to learn to manage the disappointments in life as it is normal and when they grow up, they’ll manage these feelings better than before if they have gotten used to it.
Keep working on it.
Kids will always test boundaries and you’ll always feel guilty, but it is something all parents are challenged with. Trust yourself more and know that you are doing the best you can.