How To Say No (And Mean It)
As parents, we all know how hard it can be to say no to your kids. And while it can be tricky when they are younger, it is significantly harder once they reach the tween or teen years.
Once your kid hits ten-years-old they gain a huge amount of… should we say... self-entitlement which basically means they expect everything they want. The worst thing of all is that they will use “parent pressure” to exude the very thing they want from you.
You will hear “Well Tommy’s mom got him a phone!” or things like “Melissa got an iPad for Christmas and loads of other gifts.”
Comments like these are most hurtful to parents who may be struggling financially but it is vital that you don’t bow to your kids' demands.
And here is the thing, even if you do have enough money to splurge on gifts and stuff, maybe you don’t want your child to have everything and that is OK!
Phones seem to be the most wanted item, especially for younger kids.
Personally, I wish there was a blanket ban on mobile ownership for under 13’s as I think it would be a lot less hassle. It is fair to say I have had many a discussion with my nearly 11-year-old daughter about her wanting a phone and how unfair I am for not letting her get one.
She seemed so sure that we would bow to the pressure because all her friends have one that I think she genuinely expected one from Santa. Well, she got a surprise and probably not a good one! But saying no was important because it is ok to not give your kid everything they want.
Saying no doesn’t make parents feel good and it is hard when you want to give your child what they would love but simply can’t.
The thing about saying “yes” to your kiddies all the time is you are teaching them that they can get everything they desire. We know this isn’t the case in real life and, as parents, it is up to us to future proof them.
It means they learn to manage their disappointment and therefore accept they aren’t entitled to everything in this world.
Saying no is probably one of the most important things you can say to your child and it is important to follow through.
Emma Hayes is a thirty-something mum of two girls aged 16 and 10, planting her right into the teenage and tween-age years! Follow her on Twitter at @EmmaHayes25.