Ok so they may not really mean it but do your ever tell you these porky pies?
“I brushed my teeth”- Listen here my tiny tot if you had of brushed your teeth like a good child than I wouldn’t be able to smell what you had for dinner last night would I? Get the fancy toothbrush you so longed for and the toothpaste that you begged for pleading that you would definitely brush your teeth with and brush those choppers.
“I didn’t do it”- So who exactly did do it? As you my little friend are the only person in the room and are standing next to the smashed vase! Did it jump off the shelf? Or grow legs and run away blowing itself to pieces in its quest for escape?!
“I feel really sick”- If you think I am silly enough to believe you feel sick at the very moment you have to go to school you are very much mistaken.
“I need to go to the toilet”- You realise you don’t need to go to the toilet but you do want to go and have a nose around so what better excuse than saying “I’m bursting” and up I jump to get you to the loo before you leak out in an awkward kind of manner. Of course once you have got to the loo the urge leaves you and by the time we get back to the table in the café my coffee is cold!
“I didn’t touch it”- You must have forgotten as you did touch it and you also took it off to your room and buried it in the pile that you like to call your toys! All I want is my ipad back for work but of course once I finally rummage and dig it out the thing is covered in squiggles and I don’t think my boss will be too impressed.
“I did my homework”- Did you do the homework to a proper standard or did you do it to what you think is acceptable as I have seen your acceptable work and it earned us a letter from the teacher telling us to try harder! I do try harder but you are still light years away!
“I wasn’t picking my nose”- Ah hello? Are you for real? What exactly are you doing with your finger up there so? Is there something you need that you can’t get without rooting at your nose in public might I add?
“I don’t know how”- Well kiddo you can work out how to unlock my phone, put on Netflix and play games on your console but yet you don’t know how to tie your laces or how to brush your hair? Interesting!