Child centred parenting and why it isn’t for everyone.
Child centred parenting is parenting organised around the needs and interests of the child rather than those of the parent. It is in a lot of ways the norm for parents these days to put their children first and forget about themselves to be the best parent they can be. Parents are becoming increasingly busier and this type of tight focus on their children is thought to be a way for parents to elevate the guilt they feel for not spending enough time with their kids.
Recently Tamara Ecclestone the daughter of billionaire Ecclestone said she has never left her child for more than six and a half minutes while she went on a TV show. During this interview, she also mentioned how her husband thinks she is insane but that her daughter is not a part of her life but she is her life. It is fair to say Tamara is following a child centred approach and is enjoying it. Though it may not be as easy to follow for the normal and average mother who doesn’t have millions in the bank and therefore does have other things to consider in life.
For a parent to follow the child centred approach they would need to let their children take the lead for their everyday plans. It is basically giving their children the power to direct what the family does or what they do not want to do. The parent takes a less authoritative role and believes that their child has equal rights in the same way a parent does. Child centred parenting wants to promote their children’s natural creativity and sense of initiative to allow them to have a part in the decisions made that actively affect them. In retrospect, it doesn’t sound overly bad as what parent doesn’t want their child to have their full attention? How can too much attention be a bad thing for your kiddie? Child centred parenting wants their children to have good self-esteem and believe that by having it they can be effective. Therefore, they refuse to be critical to their children for fear of ruining their self-esteem and in turn their drive to be successful.
The things it is thought that many children raised in a child centred household will grow into self-centred and entitled children who lack the skills to be able to develop good relationships. Due to their years of being the centre of their parent’s universe and having full control over the family’s day to day schedule means they may be unable to manage properly in the real world. Teenagers will grow and attend college where they may find it hard integrating themselves into a community where they are not the central focus.
That isn’t to say following the child centred approach is a bad thing as for some families it works perfectly well. It may also be connected to helicopter parenting where a parent is close by and prevents their child from making mistakes in life. Child centred parenting isn’t for everyone and that is ok.
Written by Emma Hayes, staff writer with Family Friendly HQ