How To Be A Calm Parent

Frustration, anger, and annoyance come with the territory of being human. Add a little lack of control as we raise tiny humans with their big personalities and ideas, and that frustration and anger can amplify a little.

This is something perfectly normal and certainly not something to be guilty or worried about. None of us likes to shout, and most of us know that shouting is counter-productive when reprimanding our kids. But it can be tricky to cool our jets when we’re hot under the collar. So how can we be a calm parent and tackle those minor (and not so minor) annoyances of parenting without letting our emotions get the better of us?

Take A Timeout

It doesn’t take much for our feelings to overflow as we are constantly pawed, needed, and overwhelmed as a parent. When our emotions rise, we tend to take out the worst of them on those closest to us, so when we are frustrated by a situation and not necessarily the person, they usually bear the brunt of our heightened state. Take a timeout to calm down before you react. Taking deep breaths will help slow your thoughts and actions so that you are in a better place to respond.

You Don’t Have To Fix Everything

There is a huge pull to try and fix everything as a parent or at least put our little world to rights by making sure our kids make the right choices or do the right thing. It can be difficult and frustrating watching certain situations play out. But we are not explicitly responsible for other people’s choices. We will do our best to teach our children, but we have to realise that we can’t fix everything. Our kids have to learn by their actions and, as such, the consequences.

Figure Out Why You’re Angry

It’s pretty easy to run headfirst into a storm of unprocessed emotions, but before you do (and this takes a lot of mental willpower), hold yourself back and figure out why you are angry. What is it that has you tangled up and raging? How are you reacting? Where are the feelings coming from? Can you separate yourself from your anger and understand it before responding? Figure out why you are upset, frustrated or angry and why these emotions are bubbling. You may find you can calm yourself and react differently, even calmly.  

Put Everything Into Perspective

Is your reaction necessary? What would reacting with anger achieve, and how would it affect those in the room? In the grand scheme of things, are the feelings of frustration, anger, or annoyance going to help in the situation? By putting everything into perspective, you can choose how to resolve the problem and what feelings you will allow to control the moment.  

Geraldine Walsh

Mum of two Geraldine Walsh happily works from home as a freelance writer chatting about parenting, wellness and mental health.

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