4 Compliments you need to stop saying to your children!

Compliment your kids but do it properly! 

Complimenting your child is important as they do need reassurance and to feel loved however, there are some compliments that are advised you shouldn’t say to your little one. Right or wrong there are a few reasons why and here I'll explain more -
  • Comparing compliments- Comparing compliments are when a person compliments one at the expense of someone else. It may be belittling without realising and it doesn’t show your child the right way to consider people. 
  • Non-genuine compliments- If you aren’t being genuine you will be found out and you should regardless of it being your child. Avoid saying things like “You are the best or the smartest in your class” when they may not be. Kids are savvy and they will know that you are not being genuine. They need to learn to improve on their natural talents or abilities and not have a belief that they are the best at anything unless it is warranted. Of course, parents want their kids to feel happy and secure but instead use genuine words of encouragement “You did a great job today and are making brilliant progress.”
  • Talent centred compliments- Compliments centred on a child’s talent are sometimes great for a kid but it may teach them that it is more important to win rather than make a considerable effort. Saying “You proved yourself in sports day today as you won everything” is telling your kid that it matters that they win over effort. Instead use “You did great today and made great efforts on each challenge.” Children need to be grounded and in life it isn’t possible that they are run by winning, it will show them to give up when they are unable to do something. Problem solving and resilience are vital learning tools for children and with the right kind of encouragement your kids can be successful but not by telling them all their lives that winning is important.
  • Don't just say"good job!" when they have done something well. Tell them why they did well so they can replicate that behavior in the future to get the same positive outcome. It might take a little longer but giving the right sort of feedback will benefit your child massively.
Compliment your kids, but do it properly! 
Written by Emma Hayes, staff writer with Family Friendly HQ

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

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