Christmas Day is almost upon us which can only mean lots of bickering, banter and Brussel sprouts with the ones we love most.
Ah, Christmas. There is nothing like finishing up work for the holidays, collecting the kids from their last day of school parties or welcoming a relatives home from all corners of the earth but like everything in life, things don't always go to plan.
So with that in mind, we compiled a list of things that happen to every family over Christmas. How many can you tick off the line-up?
- You will spend a silly amount of money on toys for the toddler who will find more joy in playing with the boxes they came in.
- Without a shadow of a doubt, there will be someone sick on Christmas day - its sod's law and there is absolutely nothing you will be able to do about it.
- On Christmas Day, you can be guaranteed something will be broken or missing. Like seriously, why would Santa Claus do that? Screw You Santa.
- Someone is looking for a death wish. Whose bright idea was it to give the child a craft set full of glitter, glue and tiny little stickers? Give us patience.
- Game of Jenga anyone? Come Stephen's Day every household across the island of Ireland will be playing but with 3 for 2 sets of Soap & Glory, Nivea and the dreaded Bayliss & Harding by the end of the stairs.
- Just like last year, there will be an adult still devastated that Santa never left a Mr Frosty under the tree again. Thirty years and counting, whatever did I do wrong?
- Your mum is guaranteed to kick you out of the kitchen. She will be shouting and shooing to be left alone as she prepares dinner only to spend the evening complaining that she had to do everything herself.
- Someone will cheat. It might seem like a great idea to get everyone together to play a game of whatever on Christmas Day but like always, someone gets over competitive and sends the game flying across the room after getting caught cheating.
- Bah humbug! The gravy garda will be out in full force monitoring portion sizes at the dinner table and someone will refuse to wear the hat from the Christmas cracker.
- A neighbour will arrive unannounced with a bottle of bubbly and a box of expensive-looking chocolates leaving you frantically searching the house top to bottom looking for an unwanted gift or tin of Roses that have yet to be opened.
- On Christmas Day your littles will look like miniature kings and queens dressed to the nines in the most beautiful outfits that you have spent all week coordinating. You, however, will look like you've been through the wars will and will spend the morning frantically searching for something clean and presentable that is not a set of gifted PJs two times too big.
- What food coma? No matter how unbelievably stuffed you will be after the main meal there is ALWAYS room for a buffet of turkey and ham sandwiches.
But the best part - the craic will be ninety and bellies will be full making you wonder what all the fuss was on the weeks and days leading up to it. And, like every year, calm will have been restored just in time for the Christmas special of your favourite comedy.
Happy Christmas everyone, have a good one and don't forget the batteries.
