This Is What To Do If Your Teenager Keeps Disobeying You

A lot of teenagers don’t like being told what to do but then (if we are extremely honest with ourselves) most people don’t like being told what do either.

Why would we expect teenagers to be any different when they are at an age where they are going through a lot of changes and figuring out where they fit in the world?

As much as it is a hard situation, there are some things you need to do when your teenager is battling against all the things you say:

Know the science.

Parents need to understand that teenagers are acting up as they are simply going through so many changes that it makes them more irritable than usual. They’ll have moments of being irrational, but it isn’t their fault or at least, a lot of it isn’t. Teenagers bodies change so rapidly that their whole body goes into a sense of disarray which can leave them extremely moody.

Then there are those hormones to consider that cause their own problems. So yes, your teenager will be difficult and they certainly, won’t like being told what to do but not all of it is their fault. 

Maintain a good relationship.

It is hard to keep up any kind of good relationship when you are spending your time giving out to your teenager who is not doing as you would like. However, a good relationship is key to your teenager’s journey. They need their parents to be somewhat patient with them as they struggle through the world around them.

In moments of anger, it is easy to say things and regret moments so try and realise that your teen’s bad behaviour is not every part of them. They are good people who may have made bad decisions, but they can learn to be better and they will. 

Girl who looks sad
Your teen is still a good person who may have made bad decisions, but they can learn to be better and they will.

Control your emotions and disappointment.

It’s disheartening when everything you do for your teenager seems fruitless as they are not responding to your advice. When you tell your teen what to do, they are feeling their own type of disappointment and they will vent their anger at you and others if they like.

This is where you need to conceal your emotions and try and keep calm so your teenager can see they can’t push your buttons. 

Discipline teens who refuse to follow rules.

It isn’t the easiest thing in the world to discipline a teenager (who is refusing to do as they are told). They won’t care about being grounded as they’ll use their phones and if you take their phone away, they’ll email their pals on their laptop!

It is one of those times in parenthood where you can feel a little lost. Finding the right type of discipline could be taking away their pocket money, banning them from technology (altogether) and refusing them access to their favourite thing to do like the cinema, shops or anywhere they like. 

Keep working on it.

In time, things will change, and your teenager will settle down instead of always lashing out when you tell them to do things they would rather not do.

With consistent discipline, discussion and clear boundaries/rules, your teenager will learn to cope better when given clear instructions.

They’ll see what will happen if they continue to lash out and what you expect from them will start to feel normal.

Know when to move on.

There will be a time where you are hurt but try and move on without holding grudges against your teenager. This is hard but it must be done so you can keep building on a good relationship. 

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

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