If your friend's baby is due-things you should NOT say

Pregnant ladies, we hear you. There are certain things that your loved ones (and neighbours, the post man, downright strangers etc) do and say in the lead up to your baby being born

Pregnant ladies, we hear you. There are certain things that your loved ones (and neighbours, the post man, downright strangers etc) do and say in the lead up to your baby being born. In particular those last few weeks are filled with a tonne of things that in hindsight you could have done without. Right?
Here are some of the things that your pregnant friend, sister, aunt or cousin might prefer that just didn’t do. We know it’s coming from a good place, but can you just not? 
  • So your friend is now officially on maternity leave which means that she is extremely available, right? Wrong. Don’t assume such a thing. This is a really special and emotional time and is generally filled with a list of things that need to be done and a need/want to spend time with their partner before two becomes three.
  • Telling her that she looks like her belly has dropped or that she looks “ready to pop”. We KNOW you mean well and we also know that, you know what, it DOES look like it has dropped. It might just make her feel self conscious though. The idea of people watching your belly and the expectation connected to a low bump and or dropping is just a bit too much at this stage of pregnancy. “You look great” will do just fine!
  • Offer advice regarding how she will feed the baby UNLESS it is asked for. Chances are she already has a pretty good idea and if she wants any input or advice she will ask. This one can be tough because feeding requires support but trust that if she needs it she’ll ask.
  • Guess or imply that you think the baby is a particular gender. It’s just a bit annoying and IF by any chance the couple do know and want to keep it a secret it’s putting them in a really awkward position. All will be revealed soon.
  • Tag them in every meme, quote, Instagram post and video that remotely alludes to pregnancy. It can make someone feel exposed and the centre of attention which might be the exact opposite of what they want to feel.
  • Make references to “getting their body back” or losing the baby weight. The baby is still IN THEM. They are still adjusting to their changing pregnant body. Referring to the next stage is stressful and completely unnecessary.
  • Offer up your war stories. It’s hard not to share the details of your birth when you feel connected to a friend who is about to go through the same. But would it have helped you when you were about to give birth? Some women do not want to know every detail, complication and eventuality. It can be empowering or damaging depending on the person so don’t take that chance.
  • ANYTHING pertaining to the lack of sleep that is to come. They got the memo. They know that sleep is not on the horizon for a while. Less of the “sleep while you can” comments please and thanks. 
Written by Tracey Quinn staff writer at Family Friendly HQ. Tracey also blogs at www.loveofliving.ie

Tracey Quinn

Proud mum of two who got married on Don't Tell The Bride and had an accidental home-birth (loves a good story). She's passionate about breastfeeding, positive thinking & all things cosy.

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