What To Expect

  • Tender Breasts
  • Mood Swings
  • Mild Cramps

Your Baby This Week

Your tiny baby starts out as two cells, one from the female (egg or ovum) and one from the male (sperm). There are two types of sperm, either XY which makes boys or XX which makes girls. If the magic of conception happens, the two cells start to divide almost immediately. As the cells grow and divide, it becomes an embryo. By week 5 it begins to implant into the side of your womb and is the size of a small seed, about 3mm.

Dear Diary

I'm standing in the bathroom trying to think of something productive I can do for about three minutes. If I just sit and wait, it will feel like the longest three minutes in the history of the world. It's not the first test I've taken this week, so you would think the nerves would have subsided by now, but this is a strange situation.

You see, the first test I took was negative but I have this niggling feeling that it was wrong. I've had this funny taste in my mouth since yesterday and I suddenly feel breathless. I've also noticed that my breasts feel heavy. Not painful or tender - just heavy. Different almost. Call it a gut feeling but I just won't be able to put this to bed until I take another test or physically get my period.

I have a funny old cycle. Most of my friends would have regular 28-32 days cycles but my shortest cycle would be 37 days and they usually tend to be about 42-43 days every month. This was day 44 and I just had a funny feeling that the first test wasn't accurate.

Right now, it's just a whirlwind of possibilities and what-ifs.

I decided to stick a wash on. Carefully separating the lights from the darks, taking a moment to eye-roll at the massive yoghurt stain on my son's jumper from yesterday. He's our pride and joy that little man. He turned four a couple of months ago and we had just returned from a family holiday to the canaries a week ago. As I add the washing powder to the drawer and pick a setting, I suddenly find my heart racing once again.

"What if I am pregnant?"

"What will we do?"

"What if this is a bad idea? Are we even ready?"

"Will our son be OK? He has no idea"

A weird mix of anxiety, excitement and guilt sets in as I make my way to the bathroom. It's been three minutes now. Time to read the words on the screen. I imagine "not pregnant" and how I'll feel. I then imagine "pregnant" and try to imagine that too. The truth is I don't even know my own second name right now. I am literally quivering and can feel cool air on my face as though I'm feeling a bit faint or something. What is wrong with me?

I turn the light on. Slowly. At the same time, I look around the bathroom to see if there's anything I can pick up or do in the seconds before I pick up the test to have a look. Just anything to delay it another few moments. Anything to delay reality. Right now, it's just a whirlwind of possibilities and what-ifs.

I pick up the test, prepare myself for the words "not" and I could swear for a second I almost see them. I open my eyes wider and bring the test closer to my face (I don't have bad eye-sight but I'm feeling a bit delirious at this stage).

Pregnant 2-3 weeks. I'm sorry, WHAT? I think I actually muttered the words "are you sure?" to the test, somehow expecting an answer. I was on my own in the house and could do nothing but pace around. I walked from room to room stopping every couple of seconds to read it again. Pregnant 2-3 weeks. PREGNANT. Pregnant with a BABY.

I can't process my emotions so I decide to do something. Anything. I start making a sandwich that I don't want to eat because it's 11am and I've not long finished my breakfast. In truth, I don't know what I'm doing at all and the next hour is a bit of a blur.

I feel like I've got this dirty little secret. There's nothing dirty about it, but it feels that way because it's so huge and yet only I know. I think about my husband who will be having his morning meeting right now. He's probably thinking about what to have for lunch and here I am planning how to tell him that we've only gone and PROCREATED.

My heart starts to race again. I can't tell him over the phone or via text so I prepare myself for a very long day of waiting. The doorbell rings and I physically jerk with the fright. It's the postman and as he asks me how I am I almost want to reply "why would you ask something so personal?" It's like he knows. Oh My God maybe he does know - did he see me pacing around? Hardly?

I get in the car and drive. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I return with a baby grow from Penneys. As I read the words "born in 2019" it hits me - the feeling of magic. There is a baby in my tummy. Well right now it resembles a seed but that's how our son started too. A baby. A child. A person.

As I drive to collect my son from play-school the whole world looks different. I feel hyper-aware of everything around me. Nothing is as it seemed this morning. The trees are greener, the air is colder and there is so much more to take in.

He runs into my arms as they open the school gate, just like he always does. As he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves I breathe him in a little deeper than normal. Ah, there it is. That weird concoction of excitement and guilt. I'm about to shake up his entire world and he has absolutely no idea.

Until next time.

A Partner’s Perspective

So, following 5 weeks of speculation, multiple pregnancy tests and a visit to the GP it's now official, baby number 2 is happening and our world is going to change again in 9 months. Nothing really can prepare you for this amazing news, we have been ‘trying' for a while so of course, we were expecting this to happen, it's still unexplainably exciting.

It's nice that we have this news all to ourselves for a while too. We are both so tempted to tell family, friends and our firstborn but have decided to keep the news to ourselves until the first scan. So far so good, no morning sickness. I was travelling with work for the last pregnancy so I am determined to be more clued in for this one. Just downloaded ‘Dummies Guide to Pregnancies for Dads' on the Kindle - I got this!

Our Midwife’s Advice

You won't even know it yet but - You're pregnant!! Congratulations. The weird thing is, pregnancy is actually counted from the 1st day of your last period, while conception occurs between day 11 and day 16 (for most people). So, the day you conceive you are counted as being two weeks pregnant! Sometimes pregnancy symptoms start immediately, and sometimes not at all. At this stage, Mums report that their breasts can start to feel tender, hormones can start to affect your mood and it is common to have some mild cramps, as the embryo implants into the womb (you can even have some mild spotting on your underwear). The biggest indication is that if you have a regular cycle, you will have just missed your period! If you do a pregnancy test, it will be positive! How exciting... your journey begins now!

Week 1-5

Our Wellness Tip of the Week

It's never too early to see a doctor. If you feel that you might be pregnant, or even if you're sure, make an appointment. Not only will it put your mind at ease, but early prenatal care is so important for your baby's health.

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