What Do You Do When You Don't Agree On Discipline

Starting a family is usually an incredibly exciting time.

The thought of making a little person that is half you and half the person you love can fill you with excitement. 

What most of us don’t think too much about is when that little bundle of joy becomes a wobbler, toddler and little person, discipline comes into play.

Most couples will realize they have been raised a little differently to their partners when raising children comes into play. They will have grown up with different parenting styles and view parenting slightly different. 

Usually, different parenting styles can complement each other. For example, if one is stricter, they can find a compromise but sometimes it can cause conflict. 

Little girl walking on a dock
What do you do when you don’t agree on parenting strategies and discipline?

What do you do when you don’t agree on parenting strategies and discipline?


One of the best ways to parent when you are on slightly different pages is communication. Talk about every little situation that arises. If you don’t, it could end up being one big issue which has been made up of lots of little ones. 

Stay united

One thing that can happen when parents disagree on parenting is that one parent can side with the children. Instead of it being the parents on one side and the children on the other, it ends up with the parents opposing each other.

This can lead to the children feeling very confused about the situation. Remember, above all else, you and your partner should be a united front.

Accept your differences

Fighting about parenting is not good for anyone - your children or for you. Try to keep in mind that it is a learning process for everyone. Discipline and parenting issues all change with age, maturity and experience for your children and yourself.

It is important to remember along the way that you and your partner are going to have different opinions and disagree on some aspects and that is ok. The important bit is to accept that and hear them out. You may at times have to agree to disagree on some issues.

Find a middle ground

Once you have accepted that you and your partner may have differences of opinion, you may find that you also have many things in common.

For example, the goals you have for your children and the way you would like them raised. Talk about what you really want to achieve as parents both together and individually and find a middle ground.

Laura Doyle

Mum of four, Gentle parent living on coffee and trying always to stay positive and motivate in the midst of the madness.

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