How To Handle It When You And Your Partner Have Different Parenting Styles

Throughout life, we are constantly learning. Learning who we are as individuals. Learning who we are as a couple and then for some, learning who we are in a marriage. 

For most, we assume that because we make a great match as a couple it will mean we will be on the same with regards to parenting. 

Sometimes this is just not the case. Both of you will most likely be raised differently and have different things that are important to you regarding parenting styles and even discipline. 

For the most part, most couples can talk things out and compromise in different areas. But for some, it can be make or break.

Here's how do you handle it if your partner has a completely different opinion on parenting.

Remember why you are doing this.

Keeping in mind your child’s best interests is a good place to start. Realizing that being at each other’s throats is not going to help anyone in the situation. Compromise solves almost everything. Discussing your goals for raising your children and how you would like to go about achieving them is a great place to start. 

Family of five walking together,
. Both of you will most likely be raised differently and have different things that are important to you regarding parenting styles.

Don’t undermine one another.

Whatever you do, never undermine the other parent. If something happens and one of you sets a punishment, even if you don’t agree with it always wait until later when the child is not around to discuss.

Following through is incredibly important so that a child feels safe within some boundaries. If you both can’t agree on parenting, your child will sense that and feel they can’t trust either of you. 

Know that different parenting styles can be beneficial.

Know that when it boils down to it, each parent will always differ in some aspects of parenting. This can be good for a child to learn. There are different personalities in the world and it will teach them about life.

Once you both decide to agree on the ‘big’ parts of parenthood and always back each other, there will be no stopping you. When parents are not on the same page, kids learn to play them off one another. They learn manipulation by playing one parent against the other for their own benefit.

Food, sleep, discipline. 

These three areas are where parents usually clash the most. Really talk to each other about how strongly you feel about each one of these and why you feel that way. Understanding where your partner is coming from is a great way to be supportive in the future if a problem does arise. 

Get some help.

There is absolutely no shame in getting some professional help to help guide you both to a middle ground. In fact, it is the best thing you can do for your family. Feel confident in the knowledge that a trained professional is trained to deal with situations like these and is there to help find a solution. 

Laura Doyle

Mum of four, Gentle parent living on coffee and trying always to stay positive and motivate in the midst of the madness.

Read more by Laura
{{ post.excerpt }}
{{ post.content.formatted }}

What is Family Friendly HQ?

Family Friendly HQ is Ireland’s trusted parenting community, dedicated to mums and dads, and families of all shapes and sizes.

Read more about us