A very dear friend of mine is hosting Christmas for her family at her home again this year.
This is an age-old tradition for her and since her divorce, it goes unchanged. ‘Why should it?’ is her only response to those who question the fact that among her family are not only her 4 children, their partners and her grandchildren but she continues to include the father of her children (her now ex-husband) and his new wife.
She is not worried about the fact her ex-husband and his new wife are together in her home for Christmas; her main concern is whether or not the turkey will fit in the oven! As far as she is concerned, Bob and his new wife, Caroline, are very much a part of her family. “After all he is the father of my children,” she says.
Denise is certainly a person to admire. Her happy character has not been tainted in any way since her divorce. Divorcing was not a decision Denise and Bob had taken lightly. After almost twenty years of marriage and four children, their marriage was sadly no longer working for them.
Neither of them was truly happy together and family life was not as it used to be, nor as it should be. Denise and her ex-husband were realistic and decided life is too short and they would be happier apart. After the sale of their family home, they both moved on with their own lives.
Denise will openly admit that it was a rollercoaster of emotions for a time but neither she nor her ex-husband lost sight of the role the other played in their children’s lives. Respect as a mother and as a father was not lost between them despite the problems they were having as a married couple, or as a divorced couple.
She admits it wasn't easy but her advice is simply that you cannot lose focus on the children despite the difficulties you yourself are facing. Sadly the majority of those facing divorce are unable or unwilling to act the same way.
Denise and Bob supported the children and each other as best they could and I must say years on, despite the youngest being nine at the time of the divorce, both he and his siblings have matured into lovely well-rounded adults with respect, love and understanding for both of their parents equally.
Well done to this
particular mum and dad and to any others who hold it together in such a way for
each other but ultimately for the sake of their children’s well-being.