Check out these subtle, less obvious ways to become a great mum.
Obviously, a great mum loves her kids, takes care of their basic physical and emotional needs, and spends quality time with them. But what are the subtler, less obvious ways to become a great mum?
Every mother wants to be great at raising her kids, however, it can be challenging knowing what the 'do’s and don’t's are when lots of people have different opinions.
I would always urge any mother to do as she feels is right and go with her gut instinct and remember that no one is perfect! Just when you get through the baby years, soon it is toddlers and so on and each new phase brings new challenges as a parent.
Listed here are a few reminders of what makes a great mum. This is inspired by all of us. Just mums (standing as one) all stripped back where we equally share the common love and adoration for our children.
How to be a great mum:
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Don’t try to be perfect and compete with other mums who may have an immaculate home or cook amazing dishes. We all have our talents. Some may be a domestic goddess but may not love doing the outdoor activities with the kids.
Ask for help when you need it.
Don’t be a martyr and do ask for help if you need it from family members to ease the pressure. They will enjoy the time with the kids and you will benefit from a few hours to catch up on your jobs in peace.
Drop the guilt.
You are doing the absolute best you can and if you have to work to keep the family finances ticking over, so be it. Equally if you are staying at home to mind the children (as childcare is so expensive), don’t let other people’s opinions bother you. We Mum’s do what we got to do. End off, no matter what your situation is!
Don't lose sight of yourself.
Stay true to yourself and keep up your personal hobbies or passions (no matter how hard it can be to fit it in). Being a Mum doesn’t mean you still aren’t you! Never give up on your dreams and ambitions, work toward them as you did pre kids and be happy as always!
Try to stay calm.
To be a parent you have to have incredible patience with your children, and this is nearly impossible at times when the kids are running around messing the house and fighting amongst themselves! Try to take deep breaths and not let your frustration result in yelling and then getting angry at yourself for shouting at the kids.
Listen to your kids.
Value your children and listen to them when they want to talk to you, too often we talk over them or hurry them to finish their story! This isn’t intended to hurt them, however having your kids content to talk to you builds up the bond you share for life. It might be a silly story today but tomorrow it could be more serious and if you didn’t listen yesterday why would you today, they’ll wonder?
Try not to be too pushy.
Try not to become too pushy with your kids by having your child in every activity that perhaps they aren’t enjoying it. Try to accept that they can’t be superstars at everything and it's just taking part matters! Their confidence and self-esteem can be smashed down so easily if they feel they have failed you by not winning an event. It's important that we tread carefully with their feelings and remind them that you are the proudest parent in the world.
Teach them self reliance.
Teaching your children to be self-reliant is imperative. Doing everything for them teaches them nothing and when they get older and perhpas off to college / living away from home, you need them to be independent. Every child should do a few chores and help in the housework. Preparing a meal can be fun for young kids and when they are teenagers you can allow them to cook a family dinner. Schools don’t prepare them for the big bad world once leaving the safety net of home, so knowing that your young adult can cook, clean and wash their own clothes goes a long way in their new found independence!
Create special memories.
Keep mementos of your children, from birth to adult-hood as you will treasure these in future years. Take photos on holidays and date albums each year. Do a family Christmas box with Santa letters and note their gifts that year. Keep school reports, certificates and accolades. At family occasions be sure to take extended family photos (even when people flap their hands away from the camera) as sadly in years to come some family members may not be with you, and it can be a huge regret not having those moments captured on camera.
Believe in yourself!
Finally- believe in yourself and believe that you are a great Mum! Your children love you because... well, you're their mum!