Why Self-Care Is Not Good Enough When You're A Mum

Being a mum is hard work. There’s no getting around it - at times it is hard. Of late, mums are being told to try some "self-care".

To excel in their career, be the best mum they can be, be at all the PTA meetings, stay up to date with the girls, be a loving wife and make time for romance. And when it all gets too much? We are told to try a bit of ‘self-care’.

Don’t get me wrong, self-care is vital for everyone. Especially mums. Self-care is the act of maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. When you neglect the things that make you physically and mentally happy, you lower your self-esteem and, in turn, deplete your self-confidence. 

Regular self-care helps you be more productive, feel happier and calmer and enhances your self-esteem. But with the pressure put on mums nowadays, is self-care really enough?

Watch the video here.

We live in a society that expects mum to have it all and a bubble bath or a trip to the gym will release any stress they might be carrying. Wrong! There is a lot of expectations on us mums and we need more than just self-care to stop us heading towards burn out. 

A survey on parenting site ‘Mother.ly’ found that 51% of mums found the stress of balancing work and motherhood discouraging. Approx. 1/3 of mums said that because of the balance-struggle, their mental and physical health was suffering. A shocking 85% of mums say that society is not supporting mothers enough. 

There is a plethora of issues and stigma facing mums on a daily basis and it is exhausting. How could they not be facing burnout?

If you decide to not return to work, you’re branded as lazy and if you do return to work, you are abandoning your child. 

If you go back to work, you may have to stop breastfeeding before you wanted to, and the guilt is almost unbearable. 

You may have to return to work because of financial issues but leaving your baby in childcare every day breaks your heart. 

You may, in fact, love going back to work, feeling like yourself again and this is somehow frowned upon too?

Whatever your own mum guilt or feared stigma is, we all have it. Being a mum is so much more than just giving birth and it’s time it was recognized. 

In a raw and honest video on mother.ly, mums show why they feel burnt out. All with one simple message to mums. If you are feeling burnt out, know that you are not alone and that this is not your fault.

Laura Doyle

Mum of four, Gentle parent living on coffee and trying always to stay positive and motivate in the midst of the madness.

Read more by Laura
{{ post.excerpt }}
{{ post.content.formatted }}

What is Family Friendly HQ?

Family Friendly HQ is Ireland’s trusted parenting community, dedicated to mums and dads, and families of all shapes and sizes.

Read more about us