Us Moms are a dishonest lot, guilty of telling a whole heap of lies
Us Moms are a pack of barefaced liars aren’t we….or maybe we just stretch the truth a little bit? It is not like we mean to be dishonest it is just that somethings sound better with a little twist to the story and it is not really doing any harm.
Here’s a few of our favourites:
- Childbirth was fine, an absolute piece of cake- Eh no it wasn’t. Do you know how it feels to push out a bowling ball from your neither region? But sure haven’t I a beautiful baby there to prove it was all worth it, and I suppose I will learn to walk normally again in good time.
- You can do it all, just be organised like me. Well… it actually took me three hours to get out the door and two changes of clothes and that was just for me.
- Wow that is great that you guys are going on holiday. I am not at all jealous; make sure you post all the photos on Facebook so I can feel part of your journey. When you all arrive home be sure to drop in and show off your tans against my pasty skin, make me feel really good about myself!
- Yeah he sleeps all night. Well, he sleeps some of it if I am being totally honest, but there is no backing out now you said you would take him overnight. I could really use a few hours to have an actual adult conversation and a lie on in the morning.
- I don’t mind the nappies and poops. Actually it is the most disgusting thing I have ever had to do but someone has to do it. I never realised how much babies actually dirty nappies till I had a youngster, and I can’t wait till my nipper can wipe their own butt!
- My little one rarely watches tv or plays on my phone or tablet. Ok I may have gone through two phones already since one got drooled on and the other got thrown on the floor. However I have learnt my lesson and have since got my phone insured, as for the tv, well half an hour can’t hurt can it?
- We are so much happier as a couple now- We are blissfully happy with our kids but in all honesty we get no time alone. Anytime the kids settle early we usually fall asleep on the sofa because we are shattered after the madness that is kids. However I wouldn’t change it for the world, just saying.
- I didn’t hear her last night at all- Yea right as if I didn’t hear the wailing and your countless efforts to settle her while you admirably let me sleep. I was just too exhausted to drag myself up and in fairness you did a great job and I love you all the more for it, I really do!
You may want to hide this from your friends, family and other half, as this is our little secret. Say nothing. SSHHH!