In honour of breastfeeding week last week, one dad penned his top breastfeeding tips to share with dads-to-be and we are having a right little giggle.
The post originally written by a dad named Paul Spadone was shared to the popular Facebook page, Breastfeeding Mama Talk.
In the post, which has since gone viral, Paul admits he believes women have extraordinary bodies and that breasts will never be the same to him, ever again.
He said: "In honour of breastfeeding week I feel like it is important to also share a husband’s perspective on breastfeeding despite the fact that I neither have the proper human anatomy nor the desire to ever have another human latched on to my nipples."
Supporting his wife through her three breastfeeding journeys he said there are two things he can say for certain.
"Women have extraordinary bodies and breasts are forever ruined for me."
"However, those two things are certainly not the only things that I have learned along the way so below is a list compiled from a man’s perspective."
"I call it Breastfeeding Tips For Men."
Firstly, he says the excitement of seeing your partner's breasts will be gone forever.
"After seeing your wife whip them out 8+ times a day to feed your newborn child, you soon become accustomed to just seeing boobs on a daily basis everywhere you go."
"Anywhere from next to you on the couch, eating at a restaurant, flying on a plane or riding in the car you will soon become numb to the fact that your wife’s boobs are always out and about," he said.
Paul then gives a stern word of warning to expectant dads by saying, DO NOT TOUCH THEM!
"Bottom line, those babies have endured constant abuse from feedings and the breast pump. They are sore and worn out so it is my advice that you just keep your hands to yourself and consider your wife’s breasts no longer for your pleasure," he wrote.
He offers valuable advice on how dads can really help nursing mothers by telling them to wash dirty bottles and the breast pump.
"How can you help your wife with breastfeeding? Clean bottles! I have spent many evenings after putting our kids to bed handwashing baby bottles and breast pump parts," he continued.
"It is tedious and boring but believe me when I say that you will get several gold stars for doing this simple task and in a lot of cases it pays dividends."
In a twist of events, he warns dads-to-be that sagging may occur.
"Do your best to burn the image of your woman’s breasts in your mind pre-pregnancy because those hooters will no longer be the same," he said.
"Your woman’s breasts will be experiencing a rollercoaster ride of changes over the next several months."
"There will be times where those babies are the size of double D’s causing your woman’s bra to be bursting at the seams but in the end, they will look like deflated water balloons saddened and exhausted from the abuse your child had put them through.
"Now that you know this, keep your mouth shut."
"Support her through the changes and tell her how beautiful she is," he warned.
He continues by advising dads to be patient and supportive.
"You will feel distant at times from your woman during the breastfeeding journey and it is natural and perfectly normal."
"Think about it, she has had your newborn child latched to her boobs all day long and finally at 8 pm she gets a sense of freedom after the baby goes down. The last thing she wants is the big baby in the household (aka you!) to jump all over her."
Paul continues by his top tips for dads post by saying breastfeeding saves you a fortune.
"Your woman is now a cash cow (think about the money you are saving!)" before concluding how amazing breasts are.
"The bottom line is that those boobies, breasts, knockers, hooters, whatever you want to call them, are now the life source to your new child."
"Protect them, cherish them and honour them because even though they are no longer yours, your new baby depends on them. Yay for boobies!"