Myths about bullies and bullying

There are quite a few misconceptions about bullying and bullies

The New Year school year has started and one of the biggest worries for any parent is if their child is happy and ensuring they don’t become a victim of bullying or indeed a bully themselves. There are quite a few misconceptions about bullying and bullies so speaking from experience I have rounded up some for you to read over and I hope this gives you some insight into this horrific problem plaguing our schools and shows you that not everything you assume to be right is in fact true.
  • Bullies have no friends- We often believe that bullies are disliked by their peers and therefore have little or no friends though this in fact in usually a myth. In most cases a bully is someone seen as being incredibly tough and even cool by their class mates, while some kids will choose to avoid them they will however have an impartial view of the bully to evade being noticed. This actually adds to the problem because the bully feels he/she is supported in their cruel antics and this leaves victims feeling isolated as how can a victim stand up against someone when no one will ever back them up? 
  • Bullies must have low self-esteem- A lot of bullies are perceived as having low self-esteem or confidence issues but this isn’t always the best excuse for a bullies bad behaviour. Many bullies are confident to a point they feel they will never be held accountable for their actions and they believe themselves to be right in their thinking.
  • Bullying is a normal part of growing up- It isn’t and no one should ever brush aside a complaint of bullying when it most certainly is not a way of growing up. Bullying is cruel, shameful on the victim and can cause long term anxiety or stress issues for a youngster or an adult even. Bullying is never ok and nor should it be thought of as such.
  • Victims are usually shy and quiet- Anyone can become a victim of bullying even the popular, caring and confident kids. It may not always be in public as we know now that cyber bullying is a huge part of children’s lives now and this means anyone can be affected by bullying but they may never speak out or seek help sadly.
  • Bullying is between the bully and the victim- It doesn’t just affect the bully and the victim as others will observe the bullying and they will either choose to help the victim or turn a blind eye. Children can feel intimidated by a bully though not actually be bullied themselves, this leaves a victim in a difficult position and the kids watching it unfold. Kids can get upset and anxious over such events, while it primarily affects the victim and the bully there are others at play here, families are involved too.
  • Once a bully, always a bully- Recognising that a bully is behaving badly and accepting that while their behaviour has being terrible it doesn’t necessarily mean the child is beyond turning themselves around in a positive manner. With the help and guidance of parents and teachers a child who has bullied can redeem themselves and apologise for their mistakes, and they should be forgiven and trusted once they prove themselves apologetic.
Written by Emma Hayes. Emma is a writer with Family Friendly HQ and also writes her own parenting musings over at

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

Read more by Emma
{{ post.excerpt }}
{{ post.content.formatted }}

What is Family Friendly HQ?

Family Friendly HQ is Ireland’s trusted parenting community, dedicated to mums and dads, and families of all shapes and sizes.

Read more about us