Is is ok to wish for a boy or a girl?

Our mum found that this can be a bit of a touchy subject 

The whole area of trying to conceive is such an emotional topic for a plethora of reason. There are so many who struggle with the process and many people struggle to conceive. A huge number of people find themselves in the devastating predicament where conception is not possible and other avenues must be explored. 
The very act of getting pregnant is a miracle. It is. The universe aligned and lead you to the incredible experience of conceiving a baby. It really is amazing. From a young age it is engrained in us to appreciate and recognise the significance of this and as a result we spend a huge amount of our formative years and early adult years actively trying to avoid it. For many of us the time suddenly arrives that it becomes the very thing we want so deeply.
Wishing for or wanting a baby of a particular gender is a bit of a touchy subject. It's one that I've been around on a number of occasions with friends and online communities. The reality is that many people can't help but want a particular gender. There are a lot of people who see this as a really ignorant thing to say or indeed want.  But is it? It's such a profoundly personal experience and someone else's wants or desires when it comes to family planning is really only the business of the very person experiencing it. 
I was recently at a play-cafe for a play-date. One mother has two daughters. She and her husband have decided to try for baby number three. She openly said that she would love if baby number three was a boy. Two people at the table gasped when she said it as though she had said something shocking. She did not say that if she had a another daughter she wouldn't love her more than life itself. She expressed a desire for a son and that is OK. 
An online thread started that very same week. It was amongst a different group of women and men. One man expressed that he and his wife were pregnant with their first baby and that he would “love a son”. It does not mean that he would love a daughter any less but the reaction to his comment were along the lines of “once it's a healthy baby that is all that matters though right?”. He was absolutely not allowed to want a son and immediately regretted stating such. 
What is your experience of wishing for or wanting a baby of a particular gender? We would love to know. 
Written by Tracey, mummy blogger and staff writer at
Check out her own blog at

Tracey Quinn

Proud mum of two who got married on Don't Tell The Bride and had an accidental home-birth (loves a good story). She's passionate about breastfeeding, positive thinking & all things cosy.

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