Parents love their kids so much sometimes they can lose the run of themselves...
Parents love their kids so much sometimes they can lose the run of themselves by being overindulgent. It isn’t purposely done but as parents have more it is inevitable kiddies have more as a result. Research has repeatedly shown that vital brain and attachment functions are built by handling discontent, boredom and family life. Therefore, by overindulging you are unwittingly taking away their ability to learn how to manage life and all that it combines by being too indulgent to their wants. While parents want their children to be happy and content it can lead to a parent’s obsession with keeping the kids entertained and busy. Children should be able to entertain themselves, spend time problem solving and not get everything they want or desire. An overindulgent parent tends to provide their children with every need and want out of unconditional love for the child, but it isn’t serving them well now or in the future. Children who are overindulged may not have rules or structure for their parents’ fear being too strict or upsetting their child. They too believe that kids should have a free reign and be given the choice on what and what not they want to do. Parents honestly love their children though, and it may be the case that parents who overindulge were victims of an abusive childhood or at the very least a difficult one potentially full of neglect and difficulties.
By following such approach parents are unaware of themselves influencing their child’s behaviour to be bad, encouraging selfish and self-centred personality characteristics. This may not seem a huge problem now but going forward children that are overindulged usually grow into indulgent adults. Placing no limits or drawbacks on supplying the child's wishes gives a child unrealistic perception of the world. Furthermore, overindulging can cause long-term issues with children becoming demanding and spoilt. Once your child hits college it may rear its ugly head by showing your child how they are unable to cope without your indulgent practices to help them. They may not be able to cope without being handed everything, will they be able to cook meals? Or will they be able to manage without material things that they have grown accustomed to?
If you think that you are overindulging your child, you can revert by:
- Talking to your child about the new rules.
- Providing structure to your child and consistency.
- STOPPING giving them everything they want when they demand it.
- Realise those material goods or buying them foodie treats is not a way to win their love and respect.
- Teach your child to appreciate the little things in life.
- Keep at it as it takes time to change your way and your child may find it difficult too.
No parent is ever going to be a bad parent by overindulging but you should want to raise a child that is self-sufficient, thoughtful and appreciative of everything that they have. One cannot appreciate what is handed to them too easily.
Written by Emma Hayes staff writer at Family Friendly HQ.