How to encourage your child without adding pressure on them.

It's so hard to get that balance right

Many parents struggle getting the balance right with their children with regards to encouraging them to do well while not adding undue pressure on them. Every parent wants the best for their child and will want to push them to be the best but sometimes it is better to stand back and let your kids learn themselves. Too much pressure on a child can be damaging so here we have a few tips on encouraging your child without adding pressure and hopefully this will set you on the right path for the years ahead. 
  • Ask a question- No child wants to come in from school and be questioned relentlessly on their day, what they learnt and what they did right or wrong. Instead ask one question and allow your child to elaborate if they wish, avoid shooting questions about their maths results, English spellings and tables. Try not to let the conversation be based on grades but a mix of their talents and loves, this will mean your child will understand you want to know about them rather than their grades. 
  • Follow up- If your child did say they are struggling with some aspects of their learning follow up with a simple “How is the maths going?” and offer solutions rather than telling them to work harder. 
  • Don’t over analyse- Over analysing your child’s work will only cause you and your child more stress. Sometimes your child will struggle at certain things and there are little reasons for that and their career path may not be an academic one but that isn’t a bad thing at all. Children should be encouraged to be who they want to be and not forced into anything. 
  • Offer help and support- Offer your expertise on some matters or offer to get help if your child needs it. 
  • Be a cheerleader to your child- Be the parent who smiles through the years supporting your kid even when they aren’t the best in a football match or the top speller in the school! Reminding your child that you love them no matter what way they perform in a match or how well they score in tests is vitally important and your relationship with your child will be better thus. 
  • Show them how to self-motivate and how to work hard- Teaching your kiddie some basic skills on how to self-motivate and how to work hard will not go astray. Your child should learn how to motivate themselves to achieve a certain goal, if they want to be the best goal keeper they must work hard, train and eat well. All these things are by no means easy and it takes a lot of effort for your child to be committed but is it doable. 
  • Tell them there is always a back door- Life is not black and white, and there are always ways around things. There is a back door and showing your kids that while the front door opportunity is gone they can work towards a back door. There is plenty of opportunities out there but you must grab them with both hands and be determined. 
Written by Emma Hayes. Emma is a writer with Family Friendly HQ and also writes her own parenting musings over at

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

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