How Regular Are Date Nights In A Healthy Relationship?
There is simply no denying the fact that spending quality time with the person you love is extremely important. Life is a busy state of affairs and it can be difficult to squeeze in good conversations and meaningful time together in the midst of it all. For this reason, scheduled date nights can be a great idea. Date nights give you an excuse to focus on each other rather than simply accepting the reality of being passing ships in the night.
The amount of date nights that you have will really depend on your own personal circumstances. For example, you might be the kind of couple that really gets that one on one time daily. Your kids might be great sleepers and the solid routine always leaves a special chunk of time in the evening to watch a movie together or catch up and fill each other in about your days. In other families, couples may work from home and there are ample opportunities for a cheeky lunch date together in the middle of the week.
Of course, this environment for another couple could mean the total opposite. It is actually to see too much of each other when it’s in a working environment. In this case, you might need more scheduled date nights than a couple that physically spend less time together.
There are so many variables when it comes to date nights. I know that I’ve personally had cinema dates that didn’t “feed” me very much. We may have disliked the movie or ended up having to come home early because our son wouldn’t settle for the babysitter or woke up feeling upset. In this case I’ll definitely be craving another date night sooner rather than later because it didn’t really deliver.
At other times we might have a really spontaneous at home date night where we laugh the night away and really connect with each other. We could go weeks after that without even thinking about needing a date night.
While a healthy relationship involves quality time as a couple, that can mean so many different things for different couples. It is also only one element of a relationship. A couple might have the means and ability to go out together every single weekend but they might spend a huge chunk of that time arguing or communicating badly. For this reason, the amount of date nights a couple has does not reflect the happiness in a relationship.
In a perfect world we would be able to make a date night happen as often as we fancied it. I would personally be cooking a lot less and eating out a lot more. We don’t always have the means or opportunities to make that happen though. In the majority of cases date nights are probably going to happen a little less than you would like them to but in many ways that is not such a bad thing.
When we get a chance to go out for dinner, see a show or go for a drink we grab it with both hands and really appreciate the experience. The fact that it’s not every single week, or even every single month, forces us to really make the most of it.
Sometimes we have to be a little bit more creative when it comes to date nights. We might throw the more expensive steak in to the trolley that week or treat ourselves to some new Gin glasses to enjoy a drink together at home over the weekend. Sometimes we have to schedule a “date night at home” by getting the supplies in, picking a movie (or activity) and dedicating that time to each other as a priority.
Date nights are important but they are just element of what can make a relationship a healthy one.
Tracey is a happy mammy to four-year-old Billy. She is a breastfeeder, gentle parent and has recently lost five stone so healthy family eating is her passion! You can find her at www.loveofliving.ie.