5 ways your kids could be testing your relationship

And what you can do about it

If you thought that having children would cement your relationship further you probably are mistaken as kids will try even the most patient of couples. It takes a huge amount of work to raise kids and you and your partner will have to make a huge effort to stay connected and not forget each other. Just in time for Valentine’s day here are the reasons why your kids could be testing your relationship and how to get it back on track pronto.
  • Different ideas about raising a family- Before you had kids you thought you had it all mapped out and that you both got what parenting was all about. Then you had kids and it may not be quite as roses in the garden as you had envisaged, in fact it is absolute chaos most of the time. It may take a while for you both to realise that you may not have been realistic in your expectations and didn’t foretell having a naughty tot that you both want to discipline but in totally different ways, cue major arguments. Sadly, it is too late now to hand the toddler back so how about taking a breath and talk to each other about reaching a resolution and try your different ways to reach a compromise. 
  • Passing ships- It isn’t easy as you are both busy working or with the kids and by the time they are settled it is bed time for you both and you are exhausted. Maybe you both have unsociable hours in your jobs and can’t get a minute in the same room so leave notes instead which can cause confusion if a child gets involved. Take a moment and put yourselves first, try to find at least 15minutes each day without distractions. Put the kids to bed, put away the phones and just chat. 
  • Grumpy teenagers and toddler tantrums- Anyone that has a teenager will know how they will push you to your limits with their endless demands. Worse still they are smart and will think nothing of playing Mam and Dad off each other. Toddlers may not have got that ability yet but they are small and ferocious so will cause havoc for tired parents. Trying to stand united and not argue in front of the kids or let them see you both question your parenting skills. 
  • Need an appointment to get jiggy! – How can anyone get romantic when there are kiddies about, worse still they never go to sleep and once they can walk they can saunter straight into your room. It hardly helps romance beckon but you must make time, so by all means make appointments if you have to and keep to them. 
  • No nights out in sight- If you can’t remember the last time you both had a night out away from the kids than it is well overdue, some kiddies will refuse to stay with a babysitter but persevere as this is very important for your relationship. Remember that you are both vital to your children and you must work to stay linked while been there for each other. 
Written by Emma, Irish mummy blogger and staff writer with www.familyfriendlyhq.ie
Check out her own blog at emmasmadjotters.com

Emma Hayes

Emma Hayes is a busy mum to two girls aged 17 and 11 and is married to her childhood sweetheart.

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