Christmas arrives like a pretty package full of grief triggers
- Visit your loved ones grave if it helps but don’t feel guilty if others go and you can’t bear to visit, everyone deals with grief differently. Talk away to your loved one and ask for some space on your own. I personally always leave a gift like a teddy or ornament something I know she would have loved and while I can’t bear to stay too long I feel it helps in as much as I can expect it to.
- Go to Christmas mass and light a candle, even if you aren’t overly religious a church is a beautiful place to be at Christmas. You can’t help but feel your loved one is there with you, gathering around in spirit twinkling in the church candle lights (or maybe that is just me?).
- Curl up and feel sad, let out your emotions but don’t cling to the pain and release it so you can enjoy Christmas as your loved one would have wanted you to do so.
- Accept that it is a sad time of year but also your loved one made Christmas special so carry on their traditions, for me I make my Nana’s legendary stuffing on Christmas Eve (for the beautiful smell) and I keep myself busy to avoid missing her. It doesn’t always work and I have come to realise if someone leaves you with such a void in your life, it can only mean they were one of the biggest and best parts of your world. Celebrate that, celebrate them, sing, laugh and cry and know that they are right there hymning along to your playful song.
- Cuddle the ones you love, and grip them tight as today is Christmas and tomorrow no one knows what it will bring. My Nana had an amazing last Christmas spent with those she held dear, but I still wish we had another.
- As the famous saying goes “it is better to loved and lost, to have never loved at all”.
- Remember you aren’t alone, the world is sadly full of families united having dinner but with an obvious place missing, and I wish that in spite of your turmoil and grief you all have a blessed Christmas.
Check out her own blog at emmasmadjotters.com