7 stages of homework hell
Oh we all go through it...we glance at the clock see 2:15 and we shudder…
In another hour we will be in the throws of ‘HOMEWORK’ ...despite leaving school over 16 years ago; we will indeed be doing homework in the next hour or so, for at most four days of the week and we will be once again equating that ‘Friday feeling’ to having no homework.
This homework struggle is real. Oh yes it is very real.
It is so real in fact that there are,what I call ‘7 stages of Homework hell’.
Stage 1- Acceptance: I accept that today is Monday, I accept that there will be homework (repeat this daily until Friday) if they dare come home with homework on Friday, they have Friday, Saturday and Sunday to do it - not your problem.
Stage 2- Bargaining: “Now J, if you get all your homework done before dinner you will be able to play your game for a whole half hour, good man”
Stage 3- Counter -Bargaining: “Mammy, mammy if you just ‘help’ me...maybe I could help you by washing the dishes, that way you wouldn’t have to cook AND do the dishes by yourself
*help is used incorrectly here, the darling child would like you to do the math (in our case)*
Stage 4- Deep breathing : Repeat as many times as needed; I will not lose my temper, I will not act like a 10 year old, I will be the parent, I will be the strong parent my son needs…
”Mammy, teacher never showed us how to do it I SWEAR”
“I dunno, will you do it”
“I dunno” (accompanied with that shoulder shrug)
“Heh? I dunno. Teacher didn’t do it”
Stage 5- Deeper breathing: I will not loose my cool... I will not loose my cool... I will not loose my cool…
“Mammy, mammy it’s fine..it’s grand...teacher won’t mind...it’s fine...agh…”
”J, teacher has asked you to do all part B not just two random parts, I can read the notebook...Look part B” I will not lose my sh!t..I will not lose my sh!t...
“Mammy I don’t have to, I swear it, she won’t mind, mammy, mammy..why won’t you *help me? Mammy..mammy..”
Stage 6- Deeper breathing through gritted teeth: “Go back up to your desk child and do the homework you were asked to do. NOW”
“You’re so mean to ME MAMMMY . You’re being SO MEAN TO ME”
Stage 7-Exhilaration : Hide this feeling. You must hide it...you don’t want your child to think homework is a chore now do you? Hide that happy dance …
”So Mammy, it’s all done! If you’d helped me like, we would have been done ages ago.”
“What’s this ‘we’ business?, it’s YOUR homework J!”
*Beware stage 7 may be quickly followed by more deep breathing when you hear this ol’ chestnut
“See mammy, it only took 3 hours..not too bad eh?” as he strolls off without a care or as much as a deep breath taken throughout the whole ordeal.
This struggle is real.
For four days out of the week this is MY Homework hell! Sound familiar, anyone?