It’s always a huge decision to have children. Here are a few questions for you and your partner before you take the plunge.
If you are planning on having children in the not too distant future, it is good to sit down with your partner and discuss plans for the future. There are a lot of things to consider before you take the plunge and have a nipper, and here are a few things you should both contemplate.
- Your financial situation. Having kids is an expensive business. Once you are expecting there will be items to buy and (even with gifts from family) these can all add up to a tidy sum.
- How will your career change and will you give up work? You should definitely check with your H.R department in work and find out what their maternity leave policies are (if any). Can you afford a reduced income for a number of months and will you return to work?
- If you return to work what would your plan of childcare be? There are lots of options if you don’t have the help of family. Crèche, childminder or au pair however these can cost a pretty penny.
- What is your living situation and is it a long term arrangement? Do you have a mortgage? Would you prefer to have your own home and be settled before you have a tot to think about? While renting is fine if you have to move every year or so it can be frustrating with a youngster to drag along and kids have a huge amount of belongings to move too!
- It is important that you have a strong relationship. Bringing a child into the world is an amazing experience that can cement a relationship further however it is also stressful and tiring in the early days. A baby certainly won’t fix an unstable relationship in the long run. Having a tot together takes a huge amount of patience, love and respect so make sure you are happy together first before you add your new addition.
- Are you and your partner in good health and physically fit? Of course I’m not suggesting we all need to be marathon runners to have a baba, but being fit is important. Think about having a health check for each of you before you start trying and ask your Doctor any questions you may have and any advice he might have for you.
- What type of parents will you be? Once you have a youngster you will see that people have different ideas of how to parent. It is worthwhile discussing your thoughts on topics like what type of school they may go to or what religion will they be? Disciplining your child and what you consider to be spoiling children should be reflected on too.
- Are you both ready and are you willing to be a team? Having a baby changes your lifestyle. You will both need to be a team and help each other with night feeds and changing nappies. Of course it is also important to make sure you both get your own time to have a hobby or to rest when needed. It is all about give and take and recognising that you both are the parents of this little dote. Working together is key.
Best of luck with your new baby x