This mums honest is very real and funny
Surprise! I'm pregnant with my third child. There, I said it out loud.
Now it's real. My husband and I weren't planning on a third, but had not yet ruled it out. I, still on the fence, was not ready to close down the baby shop. He, however, was ready the minute our second son was born. To say this comes as a complete shock is a bit of an understatement.
A few weeks ago I found myself pacing in a Walmart restroom waiting for the results of a pregnancy test
(no judging, it was the closest place to work). What were probably just a few minutes felt like a few hours, and when the little lines finally appeared – I was paralyzed. How did this happen? Okay, I know how it happened. But still – how did this happen?
Over the next thirty seconds, my brain went into overdrive. Sheer panic. Here were some of those thoughts:
Look at it again. It's wrong.
Look at the instructions.
This can't be right.
What does a smiley face even mean, anyway?
How did this happen?
Did I take my pill?
My husband can't control himself!
I'm still losing baby number two weight!
What if it's another boy?
Can I handle three boys?
I need a new car!
Three car seats!
Can we afford vacations?
Party of five!?
PARTY OF FIVE!
No more guest room.
How far along am I?
Shit, I just had that girls weekend and drank a lot!
I need another job.
Husband needs another job.
Husband is going to freak out!
Two in diapers!
What if it's a girl?
WHAT IF IT IS A GIRL?
I definitely need another job.
Wait…. I'm still in a bathroom at Walmart.
I should call my husband.
Pull yourself together.
I can do this.
Once I ended my conversation with myself, I felt my hand naturally cup my belly
– and I smiled. Here we go again, but this time as a party of five. God help me.
Co written by
Kari is a native Ohioan and recently moved back after spending several years in Chicago. She misses the city terribly but loves having a lot more space and a yard that her two wild boys are sure to destroy. She spent over 10 years as an HR Professional in the Luxury Hotel Industry and now works in consulting. She is the Co-Founder of Mother’s Guide To Sanity
, a humor blog where she shares stories about raising two young boys while trying to manage a career and stay sane – all at the same time. Kari is a lover of wine and the Ohio State Buckeyes!
Holly Rust is a native Texan but currently resides in the great city of Chicago with her husband, two sons and their Chihuahua. She spent over 10 years in Marketing, Communications and the Luxury Hotel Industry. She is now a Freelance Writer, www.hollyrust.com
, which allows more time for sanity and family. She is the Co-Founder of Mother's Guide To Sanity
, a humor blog where she shares stories about raising a rambunctious toddler and a nocturnal newborn, all while trying to manage a career. Holly considers herself the ultimate foodie and loves to travel. She is also an avid runner and completed the 2011 Chicago Marathon.