As an expectant mother, you can pretty much get away with anything without the fear of being judged. 

• We get away with rubbing our bellies in public without looking like we’re hungry.
• We can laugh so hard we can sometimes pee ourselves and nobody will bat an eyelid.
• Waddling. We can walk like a duck if we want to. There’s a head in our pelvis. Do not laugh, I repeat. Do. Not. Laugh.
• It’s a bump bonus being able to cut in line to use the toilet.
• Mood swings and hormones. We can cry for no apparent reason. We even cry at cute baby commercials. And if I say it’s your fault, IT’S YOUR FAULT.
• Other people’s food always looks nicer and we can eat it without being forked.
• We can eat strange food combos. Never mind the weird cravings. And we can send our partner out at silly o clock to satisfy the want or need for the tasty treat.
• We can eat as much as we want when we want. Sure we are eating for two aren’t we? AREN’T WE?
• Some pregnant women express a desire to eat inedible things like coal and chalk. I was one of those women, I ate chalk on my last pregnancy. Not at all weird…
• We can hog the whole bed and there is nothing they can do about it.
• Any kind of compliment can be taken completely out of context. And if we go bat shit crazy IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.
• Sleep glorious sleep. We can take mid-morning, afternoon and/or evening naps.
• We slack on our self-grooming. Well I did. In fact, the thoughts of washing my hair in the third trimester gave me nightmares never mind drying it.
• It can take us anything up to 30 seconds to get out of a chair. Sure we are carrying all the extra weight. Although never mention that