Lessons learned from my years of marriage

You realise very quickly that you have to grow up!

Oh boy! Where does one start. Well, I feel I have been on a massive learning curve since we got married. It’s certainly not like we didn’t know each other, I brought my beau to my debs and we got married 10 years later, and lived happily ever after. The End…
Yup, the end alright. The end of a lots of things. The end of my life with my maiden name. I got married and had a new name, I mean that’s life changing in itself. My old name was relatively unique and I’m not sure still if anyone else in the world had the same name. My new name, I discovered left hundreds and thousands of me’s. So that was my first lesson, albeit not a big deal but it’s sometimes nice to stand out a little. In any way, I do like my new name because I’m slightly batty, it’s aesthetically more pleasing, as is my signature and I also like how it sounds. I did used to trip over my old name a little when pronouncing it for people. 
I learned that when you get married, there really is quite an onus on you to grow the hell up. I had fooled myself into thinking that life would carry on as before with mad nights out with the girls, and house parties for afters. It’s just not really acceptable behaviour when you are a married woman. Well, I didn’t think it was. It felt wrong. I think ferreting through the neighbour’s flower bed for my wallet the following morning, after a few too many brandys was my epiphany with that lesson. I was a married woman for God’s Sake!
Yes, and there’s the other thing. You do feel more like a woman than a girl. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. My hubby always remarks how a LOT of women cut their hair after they get married. He laughs and says they are settled, comfortable, old, he jokes of course! I know the real reason is because a lot of brides spend painful month after month growing their barnet after their hairdresser’s warn them off scissors for the coming months until they now what they are going to do with all of it on the big day. It’s only a relief for a newly-wed girl to trot off to the hairdressers with their new title in tow and ask for a ‘change’. We get bored! There’s a lesson for the other half. First thing I did after I got married was get a fringe cut… kept ‘the length’ though. Mr Smith, was not impressed. HATED fringe, which was quite unfortunate as I’ve had to more or less wear one permanently since, after 3 kids which resulted in a lot of hair loss at the front of my head.
There are still lessons being learned here every day. But that is good, life is for learning and there wouldn’t be much purpose if we knew everything. We have bad days and good, but like I say the bad days make the good days all the better. The best lesson I have learned, and it is the only tit bit of advice I impart on any bride to be, because we are all different. But here it is… I have learned, to CHOOSE MY BATTLES! This is a gem. Don’t sweat the small stuff and then when the stuff that really matters comes to the fore, you have all the energy in the world to hammer that one home, and quite frankly there is little more satisfying than that win!
Let the silly little things go and enjoy the other little things like smiles and hugs.  Do not rely on material things such as flowers and jewellery to make you happy. They don’t, and this I have learned, thankfully, because I don’t get them anyway 
Written by Sonja from lifeisnotpinterestperfect.blogspot.ie

Sonja Smith

Sonja is a contributor to Family Friendly HQ.

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