The difficulty in step parenting is not always the children but it can be the biological parent with an inability to move on with their own life.
This ability shows all-roundedness, a true reflection of putting the children first, no difficult choices for them to make therefore putting no emotional strain on the children.
Your ability to show an adjustment to your situation will only reflect well on the children. Good role models are essential and for them to see how relationships in your ‘modern family unit’ can actually work.
To those hiding behind, ‘I am putting the needs of the children first ‘ in most cases simply are not. Unless there is abuse or manipulation then there is no justified reason to prevent a child from seeing their parent, especially when the child(ren) asks to. You have no viable reasons to say no, do you?
Sadly some manipulate the situation so much it can cause so much strain on the other parent and therefore the children that the other parent gives up. Not out of selfish reasons but for the sake of the children.
Don’t get me wrong, divorce is hard, with or without children. But for some, there seems to be the constant need to try and ‘get back at’ their ex. A satisfaction in trying to cause upset and stress or in some cases it is jealousy. Jealousy because they can’t bear to see their exes moving on without them, with someone else, or simply jealousy of the relationship the child(ren) has with that parent. An even bigger issue for these people will be an introduction of a new partner with whom the child(ren) bond and form a relationship (more on that in another blog).
If the other parent does give up it has been in order to avoid any upset / stress for the child(ren) involved. You can only truly feel sad for those who do this, as in the long run, the children are the ones who will miss out. And no doubt as they age and mature will realise what they have lost out on. Will it be too late for them to rebuild the lost relationship with the parent they didn’t see? One can only hope not.
I recently read an article about not allowing your child to see their other parent and how it is a form of abuse. Manipulating children by distorting the facts in so they do not want to see a parent and as a result, lose contact with a parent is also a form of abuse. Only time, strength and maturity will help those children in such situations.