A practical guide to helping your friend if they have just had a baby. Here's what to do on your first visit and beyond.
Do you remember when you had guests over after you had a baby? I bet you remember the visitors who helped and to this day you are very grateful to them. Having a baby is tiring enough but then you have to go home and settle into a routine with loads of people visiting you and your new little cherub. We have all being there so with this in mind here are a few tips on how you can help your friend when she arrives home after having her baby.
How to help a friend who has just had a baby.
Call beforehand to arrange a time that suits.
No one wants an unexpected arrival when the mum in question might be trying to settle their newborn or have a shower or a few zzz's herself! Common courtesy is required here - by all means, visit but agree on a time that suits Mammy and Baby.
When you arrive be sure to coo at the little bundle.
Be sure to take the time to get to know the new arrival, before you start moaning about the traffic. Always ask before you pick the baby up as some parents like to leave them undisturbed and not wake them from slumber. If there are any siblings, be sure to chat with them and bring a little gift for them as well as the new arrival.
Bring tea/coffee (if they drink it) and food.
Save them boiling the kettle! If you are handy with a bit of cooking, a nice homemade meal will be greatly appreciated, something that can be heated up later. A nice freshly brewed cup of tea/coffee will please any new Mum! This is not a time when the new Mammy should be thinking about her weight so make sure she eats something.
Offer to sit with the little tot if she wants to shower or have a nap
Most new mums struggle to even get a wash most days until someone comes to their rescue, so let her go off for a quick paddle. If she is absolutely shattered and you have the time to spare let her have a nap while you watch baby- it will do her good.
Ask her what she needs and if there is anything you can do just call.
Of course, she will probably decline but tell her you are more than happy to be of service. If she has other kids maybe you could offer to do the school run one day to let her have a rest at home or let her go and get her nails done a bit of pampering is good.
Don’t complain or moan.
Let’s be clear here she has just had a baby, she is in a lot of pain and she is probably not getting any sleep so for you to start moaning will be an insult! Try be positive and let this visit be about her, not who you are getting annoyed with at work or at the school gate!
Don’t overstay your welcome
While the new mam will be glad of the company, having guests is tiring. Though you are proving to be the perfect visitor others are not quite so thoughtful, and she will have days of people dropping in and out. Just remind her before you go that you are around and arrange another time to visit that suits her.
The time with a new-born passes quickly and when your friend is ready be sure to arrange a night out for a meal to unwind. Once she has gotten over the first few weeks she will be more than happy to get out for a while. It will do her good and she will be eternally grateful to you for all your help and advice.