With four children, days are busy and often times our relationship can be put on the bottom of the ever-growing ‘to-do’ list.
Anxiety for me can be synonymous with feeling alone. But I’m not alone - I have an amazing husband that is supportive and encouraging.
With four children, days are busy and often times our relationship can be put on the bottom of the ever-growing ‘to-do’ list. But how important is it to have time with your partner?
My husband and I recently spent a beautiful night in the stunning Lyrath Estate, Kilkenny. We had a couple’s massage and time in their breathtaking infinity pool. While there, I said to him “I forgot that this is how relaxed feels”.
We spend so much of our days running on empty and chasing our tails that even when we are finally sitting down in the evenings we are never truly fully relaxed. Something is always on our mind or we are always thinking of the next task.
It really was an eye-opener for me about how important it really is to have time alone with your partner. For your relationship and for yourself. A happy mum is a happy home and putting myself up there on my list of priorities is now at the forefront of my mind. A weekend away isn’t always the answer, but it could be an hour here or a bi-monthly date night there.
Here are some tips to be able to spend more time with your partner and re-ignite the spark that got you two together in the first place.
1. Spend at least 10 minutes together every morning and say goodbye before either of you leave for work. Spending a few minutes together every morning can help you weather out whatever the day has in store for you.
2. Just as you did in the morning, try and ensure to spend 15-20 minutes together at night all by yourself. Have a cup of tea and talk about your day.
3. Send them a text during the day saying something positive about them or even just asking how they are. It will make you both look forward to seeing each other again that evening.
If you have children spending time with your partner privately can sometimes be a challenge.
Try as much as possible to get a babysitter even just once a month for a breakfast together or a dinner. Something you both can look forward to.
If that's not possible, take time out before bedtime (preferably when the kids are asleep) and talk to your spouse telling them how you appreciate everything they did that day.
4. If you are upset over something your partner said or did, text them saying let's discuss and sort it out tonight. This way both of you will be in a calm frame of mind and the discussion will be a productive one.
5. Go for a night away together. Again this is not easy, especially when you have small children but try to book a night away even every 6 months. It is a great way to feel relaxed and get back connected again. You can’t do any job 24/7 and that includes parenting. You both need a break sometimes.
Laura Doyle, Mum of 4. Kyle 9, Noa Belle 4, Briar 2 and Milla 12 months. Breastfeeder, co-sleeper, coffee drinker. Staying positive and inspired by the chaos of it all. Follow her on Instagram.