This is literally EVERY one of us
He just gets up and goes to work- While I get up and begin the chores and get the kids organised for school, he gets himself up, has tea, showers and beautifies himself before heading off! I’m knee deep in washing piles and demands for toast but he saunters off easily.
*He has the right idea and I wish I could leave each morning forgetting about the house work
He can sleep through a hurricane- It doesn’t matter how much the kiddies cry during the night as my partner is not going to hear them! Even when I give him a little kick for encouragement he will turn over and tuck under the blankets leaving me to deal with the monsters that my kid says are everywhere!
*I’m jealous that he can sleep through it as I wake even if my nipper rolls around in the bed!
He can stop the kids whining with a deathly stare- If the kids are being bold and carrying on inappropriately my partner can stare at them (without having to say anything) and they will stop what they are doing!
*I’d need to ask them to stop, ask them again, ask them a third time and finally lose my s*&t before running away myself feeling guilty!
It will take him all day to do a few chores- If I go out for a few hours he will heroically ask what needs doing and in fairness he will do it but it takes him all bloody day. He will stop for “tea breaks” and of course, catch up on the sport. By the time I arrive home he barely has the dinner started and the kids might have missed lunch because he forgot!
*If he goes out I whirl around getting everything done and when he gets in dinner is served and the kids are sorted!
He is the “fun” one- He is the one who plays football, goes to the matches and does the fun stuff albeit to get the kids out of the house when I’m busy myself. He can throw them through the air and catch them but I am the one who ties their shoes and ensures they have lunch and that isn’t overly fun to a kid!
*I try to be fun but find I am too busy to do that but I should take his lead and forget the stupid stuff that doesn’t really matter.
He dresses the kids in the worst style- If I don’t lay out the kid’s clothes before I go off he may dress them in the worst clothes ever! The kids themselves don’t care and I come home to find them looking ridiculous and don’t get me started on the clashing colours!
*I guess he is better at games and entertaining them then choosing matching outfits!