Mum Makes a Bold Statement About Stay-at-Home Moms
Mum Makes a Bold Statement About Stay-at-Home Mums (SAHM's)
Raising children and in particular mothering is described by many as a "full-time job" and "the hardest job in the world." While lots and lots of parents won't disagree with that, writer and mother of one, Liz Pardue-Schultz, has a very different (and unpopular) opinion.
This blogger doesn’t want us to be “angry” with what she has to say. In fact the first sentence -in her entirely calculated, just to rise a reaction blog- entitled, “Being a Stay-at-Home Mother Is Not a Job” is... “Alright, calm down.”
She wrote this story incredibly aptly named the “Unpopular Opinion”
section of XOJane
, but since appearing recently in Time, it has taken on a life of its own and is one of the biggest statements we’ve read in the mum wars.
She continues by saying she proudly made the choice to stay with her daughter at home for five years. She came to stay-at-home motherhood, a decision made after she’d initially re-entered the workforce as a freelancer, and she and her spouse ultimately made a choice that was not easy financially, but felt satisfying emotionally.
She admits it was "really hard" and often felt "lonely," but she doesn't agree with stay-at-home moms validating their choice by calling it a "job."
"Being a stay-at-home mother to your own kids is not a 'job,' no matter how difficult it is or how hard we work. Period. Getting to do nothing but raise a person you opted to bring into the world is a privilege, and calling it anything else is ignorant and condescending."
She says “I understand a stay-at-homer wanting to validate her or his life choice by calling it a ‘job'. We get a lot of grief from academics and professionals, and we’re very often belittled by our society for not contributing anything “valuable.” There’s a sense that we need to defend ourselves against a culture that wants to make us feel inferior or useless because of the way we’re spending our time, but trying to argue its worth by identifying it as something identical to a full-time career isn’t helping the cause. If you’re proud of how you’re living your life, there’s no need to rephrase it to make it more palatable to those who don’t agree with its worth".
Continuing she tells how she got pregnant in college and ultimately decided to become a SAHM, (stay at home mum) and re-emphasizes that the time she got to spend with her daughter was a "gift, not a career."
Meeting other mothers and trying to join “mommy groups” she says she was "constantly astounded" by how moms complained about their decision to be at home. "The truth is, for every mother who is happy with her choice to be a stay-at-home mother, there are at least three who are using its tribulations as a means to smugly declare their superiority to anyone within earshot".
She ends by calling for mums to "own up to their decision" and "have some self-respect. The people out there who actually have jobs will appreciate you much more if you're not going around whining about a way of life that is most parents' dream."
These views, obviously, have stirred huge controversy. In the comments on her own blog many call her opinions "offensive" and "belittling" while others see her points as completely valid.
What are your thoughts?