12 Maternity Leave Myths.

This mum wants to dispel any of those maternity leave rumours

Today I want to dispel any of those maternity leave rumours (myths) or absolute untruths that are out there! A lot of people have a funny idea of what us Mammies do on our ‘time off’!
  • ‘Sure, you can have lovely long lie-ins’, they say. Maybe with baby one. You might get a little extra morning nap. Otherwise no. You are lucky to get to seven am! I also have a wriggly worm baby who thinks the bed is a playground so no chance of sneaky extra kips there!
  • Lazy Lunches with the Ladies. Lunch out with baby in tow can be nice bit it is also a lot more work. Planning a venue with facilities, space for a buggy, and organising the bag to bring is tiring enough before you even get there! You aren’t exactly swinging in fresh from the shower, made up and smelling of body butter but more likely to be sweaty, red faced and panting!
  • Box sets. I laughed out loud when I read an article where a guy thought his wife watched boxsets all day. Oh my! What a joke!!
  • Talking on the phone all day. I have heard it said that people on maternity leave spend the day chatting on the phone.  Just try doing that with comfort when a baby needs your full attention and a toddler who knows they are being ignored are both clinging to your sweatpants bedecked knees! In fact I find that you hold off on those longer phone chats so much that you need up talking less to your friend! Ask my friend Sara! We talk around Peppa, unpeeling Babybels and barking dogs. Hardly conducive to lengthy gossips.
  • ‘You will have loads of time to look after yourself!’ A belief exists that you will be getting nails and hair done every week and you can pick lovely matchy, matchy outfits carefully each morning. Try this at seven am when a little doll is pulling at your earrings. There is also this idea that it is lovely not to wear work clothes, a uniform and just slob out in jeans and a tee, sweats or even PJs all day. Believe me this is only fun for a bit and you end up feeling like a troll in a hole! As for hair and nails, I have given up.
  • Shopping all day. Another big laugh!! OK, I think all parents have a terrible habit of buying more for their children and nothing new for themselves once they become Mam and Dad. Money is tighter too so you have nothing to spend!  Also shopping with children in tow can be work. You have a time limit before it all goes wrong. You certainly don’t shop all day!
  • ‘You will get lots of bits done around the house, now you’re off’. Sorry, what? Try painting with tiny children about. Try window cleaning! Try getting the bedsheets changed even. Unframed photos taunt me daily. Dusty lampshades. Gathering piles in corners. An occasional baby wipe blitz occurs with furious rage on a weekly basis but as for these ‘bits’ I am supposed to be getting done...
  • Every day is the weekend. OK so this depends on many factors. Weather, partner’s job etc. Really though it is more like every day is a week day and the notion of a chilled out weekend becomes part of a different life! Occasionally a weekday may be like a weekend day but it is a rare beast. A tropical one at that. Possibly a magical one.
  • ‘Sure you won’t even think about work!’. I believe that true sometimes. I call it a myth though because it is not a certainty. With baby two I thought about my job in a fairytalesque fashion every day!
  • Pressure and stress free six months. It may not be the usual pressures but there are definitely pressures there. Stress also appears!
  • Baking Goddess. I think we all have the impression that we are floating about a kitchen creating wonderfully healthy food for our family, providing home baked goodness at every turn. In reality, we are too busy to get our inner Nigella on and instead ‘make do’ with a lot of easy grub. It is more likely we are trying to get out inner Weight Watchers’ goddess on too. Brings me to the next point ...
  • ‘Sure you have six months to walk the baby weight off!’ We all tell ourselves this one. I applaud all those that can do this!  I found it really difficult to have the will power to avoid the custard creams and your lovely walks are subject to the temperamental damsel that is the Irish weather! At least, a lot of weight goes in week one naturally which gives you a nice boost early on.
Therefore, the next time someone casually tosses one of these comments your way and you are ready to explode...smile and direct them here to read THE TRUTH in all it's hairy beauty!!
Written by Orla, who is in her thirties (much to her disbelief), married to a handsome farmer and they have two beautiful little girls. She blogs at www.fancypaperblog.wordpress.comwhere you can visit to read her other musings!

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