Dear Son... Don't Settle For Consent

I could hear her wish for them to have great sex, to set the bar at enthusiastic consent. 

I have a friend – well, I know and admire a woman who might yet be a friend – and this morning I woke to find an email from her in my inbox. She’s a journalist and normally an email from her means she’s writing a piece and is interested in my professional opinion on the topic. We’ve been back and forth-ing for a couple of years and, as you do, we’ve been stretching the boundaries a little more each time.
So this morning when I saw what she sent me in the form of a recording I was utterly amazed. Firstly, I’d never heard her voice before! She has a lovely soft clear Belfast voice, the kind that should be on a radio or on a relaxation podcast – it’s gorgeous…
Secondly, in it, I could hear her love for her sons loud and clear. Her wish for them to be happy, for them to be the kind of men that she can be proud of, whose company she can enjoy. And I could hear her wish for them to have great sex, to set the bar at enthusiastic consent
She had written them a poem during the night (big sarcastic YAYYY and nod to pregnancy insomnia!!) It felt like a true privilege to hear her read it, as if I were witnessing her speaking to them in this beautiful intimate way that only their parent can do.
It was very moving.
And then she very generously said yes when I asked if I could share it here, with you.
So here it is :
Written by
Sally O’Reilly is the Family Psychology Expert at Family Friendly HQ. She's a Psychologist, Psychotherapist & Clinical Supervisor in private practice in East Cork with twenty years’ full time experience. She has a special interest in working with teenagers. For more info contact her through her site or on Twitter @psychosal or Facebook at Sally O'Reilly Psychology & Psychotherapy.

Sally O'Reilly

Person, Psychologist, Psychotherapist & Clinical Supervisor with special interest in adolescence. Love all chocolate equally, hate all blue cheeses - equally.

Read more by Sally
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