The lists, the texts, the planning and there is always one mum who gets too drunk
You could say that there's never been a better time to be a pregnant woman. We have a social life at the touch of a button. Forums and threads full of women just like us. We can even join groups specifically for women who are due their babies at the same time as us. It's a lovely sense of community and friendship.
These online relationships quite regularly turn in to “real life” friendship. Babies are born and play-dates are arranged. Occasionally you might even meet up for a bite to eat and a glass of wine without the kids (cue look of shock). Here are the 10 stages of the “Mum night out”.
- You've said you will leave bed time duties to the other half and you are determined to do so. You spend the day laying out clothes, sorting bottles & carefully writing out lists and directions. You're feeling stressed and flustered at the thought of it all going belly up but you continue to pretend that you're relaxed and “buzzing” to meet the girls.
- You look up the menu and screen shot it so that you can easily revisit it ten times again that day. The prospect of eating with two hands is so very exciting. You want to make sure that you make the right choice.
- As you choose an outfit you realize you have “no clothes” and begin to stress about it hugely. Everything is “too pregnanty” or not quite fitting you. You take a last minute late night trip to the clothes shop to spend too much money on a top you absolutely do not love. But your sorted so it's grand!
- Get excited for the glass of wine but then panic that something might go wrong while you're out. What if you need to drive? OK you won't have a drink after all.
- Arrive twenty minutes late because you wanted to really make sure that your other half could read your hand writing. You also got involved in the bed-time routine which you said you wouldn't. You justify it by telling yourself that you'll relax more tonight if you know everything is done your way. Milk argument with other half ensues just before you leave.
- You meet the girls (who were all late. It makes you LOL) and you mutually decide to not spend the night talking about the babies. You collectively last ten minutes before talking about poo and showing each other videos of laughing babies.
- One mum gets rather drunk while the rest of you sit somewhere between judgey and jealous.
- Every 5-10 minutes there is silence while you all partake in a whatsapp chat with your other half regarding “how things are going”.
- Why is there ALWAYS a beautiful waiter? This provides 90% of the night's amusement and laughs. It's feels good to laugh with someone other than a 9 month old.
- Every single person orders dessert because “go hard or go home”. The bill is quickly paid and you all go your separate ways. It's late enough to be considered a “night out” but early enough to not dread tomorrow's early start to much. I'd say this has been a success!