Every new parent has been there- learning to function without sleep.
- Is my baby just a cruel and really just an unusual torture device?
- I will literally pay €1,000 for a solid, uninterrupted nap.
- I think he's laughing at me now.
- How many more cups of coffee can I have before my blood becomes pure caffeine?
- I used to daydream of sunny getaways and dancing until the wee hours, now I desperately dream of the basics…like a shower.
- I swear to God, if one more person tells me I look so tired, I'm going to punch them!
- Is my child broken? Did I break him?
- Why didn't I appreciate all the sleep that I used to get before I had a baby?
- To think, there was a time I thought that cry was cute. WOW!
- Is this it? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be? No sleep?
- How did I pull those all-nighters in my younger years?
- That's it. Anyone who asks to visit the baby when they know she's sleeping is off my Christmas card list. Stupid!
- Am I the worst mum ever for just wanting a dark room all night to myself - to sleep?
- Did I really just pour breast milk in my tea?
- Lack of shut eye is definitely the strongest form of birth control known to woman!
- Now I get where my gran was coming from with the whole whiskey-in-the-baby-bottle thing.
Do baby whisperers really exist and where the f*ck can I find one, stat!