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To all the Mothers who are finding it tough

To all the Mothers who are finding it tough

woman crying

To all the Mothers who are still only new to this parenting position. I mean those of you with two under two, three under three, or even just one, a brand new little one, these words are for you.

When you wake up for the third time in a night and feel like you are sleepwalking.
You are not alone.

When you close your eyes desperately hoping not to hear that little cry.
You are not alone.

When you close your eyes and can’t hear anything, not even a moth-breath and you become terrified and have to get up to check they are  OK.
You are not alone.

When you despair that you may never get five minutes to yourself again.
You are not alone.

When you think all those other social media families are happier than yours, doing it better than you or are healthier than yours.
You are not alone.
And they aren’t.

When your child eats all their dinner and you feel like they are winning Olympic medals.
You are not alone.

When you get squashed yollies on your jewellery.  Spit up lines down your back. Poo on your shoes.
You are not alone.

When you feel like you will never smell nice again.
You are not alone.

When you stand on the scales in the weight loss class that you had to spin plates to get to but you are not losing a thing.
You are not alone.

When you used to mutter a bit of a prayer at night but now you feel too tired and dejected to chat to God.
You are not alone.

When you look in your wardrobe and hate every stitch that doesn’t fit you, bobbles, or is creased. That turns out to be everything.
You are not alone.

When you don’t want to bring your children to mass because you fear their actions being judged.  Or your actions reacting to them. Or not reacting.
You are not alone.

When you wear wedding heels in the kitchen because your daughter thinks they look ‘pitty’!
You are not alone.

When you want to hit your close friend or family member when they casually remark on your child’s size, appetite or anything else.
You are not alone.

When you have had so many doctor appointments you know all staff by first name or are on nodding terms.
You are not alone.

When the rice crispies that were requested are tipped up on the freshly mopped floor.
You are not alone.

When you stare and stare at your child and still marvel at their existence.
You are not alone.

When you are bathed in a cloud of nervous sweat fifteen minutes after dressing for the day.
You are not alone.

When you secret eat.
You are not alone.

When a banana doesn’t quite cut it and you need to dip your head in chocolate, vicar of Dibley style.
You are not alone.

When you don’t want to rush the present with your little cuties and all the sweetness that goes with it but long for consistency and clarity so you can enjoy this more.
You are not alone.

When you sit in the car for five minutes outside SuperValu on your own just for silence and peace.
You are not alone.

When Lidl is no longer cheap enough and you never have an extra bean.
You are not alone.

When you get excited because you have a Peppa episode that you haven’t seen before.
You are not alone.

When you feel judged for not breast feeding, breast feeding, spoon feeding, baby led weaning, cry it out technique use, co-sleeping, rocking and every other talking point that everyone is highly opinionated on.
You are not alone.

When you think your baby is possessed but it turns out to be teeth. 
You are not alone.

When you hate sweet potatoes but make them all the time for your toddler and feel guilty for not eating them too. You just want a bag of salty vinegary chips.
You are not alone.

When you are ridiculously satisfied by the smell of home cooking in your kitchen.
You are not alone.

When you crush boxes in frustration because hangers break, clothes fall, vests won’t go on babies, water bottles spill, everything you look at falls, dust arrives consistently, nothing is ever fully clean, charge is at its lowest on every device, the kettle is lime ridden again, those small tubs for baby food topple out of the freezer every time you open it and it is impossible to have everything ready all of the time.
You are not alone.

When you KNOW your toddler is winning the debate.
You are not alone.

If your bladder leaks when you walk and it is two years on.
You are not alone.

If no one tells you the truth about how hard it is but you know they must feel it too.
You are not alone.

If you know you will sugar-coat your story too because a pregnant woman should feel excited and thrilled and nothing but.
You are not alone.

If these children look to you like the most beautiful ones ever born and you truly think they are prettier than all other children.
You are not alone.

If you envisage perfect family trips to Disneyland and your heart breaks when a tragedy occurs there.
You are not alone.

When you make funny faces and blow raspberries for fifteen minutes just to hear those squeals of delight.
You are not alone.

If you cannot watch the news because everywhere you look there is a predator, a  pitfall or a child in pain and it rips your heart and makes you so anxious that your own home with all the people you love even with your own parents in it doesn’t feel safe.
You are not alone.

If you are stressed leaving the house but stressed in the house too.
You are not alone.

If soft play makes you nervous.
You are not alone.

If you are thrilled by the prospect of showing your child the world.
You are not alone.

If coffee has become your drug of choice.
You are not alone.

If your stack of books to read for pleasure has been growing and growing, their unread attractiveness taunting you.
You are not alone.

If you feel selfish because you want to read the books.
You are not alone.

If there have been too many disturbed evenings and nights and you are feeling slowly more distraught by the crying but are tearless yourself because survival instincts have kicked in.
You are not alone.

If you have magic beautiful moments with those children.
You are not alone.

If you know now for fact that you would kill for those children and never condoned violence up to this.
You are not alone.

If you want more children but feel you cannot cope with what you have so it would be unfair.
You are not alone.

If you sing Happy Birthday all day because it is your child’s favourite song.
You are not alone.

If they all tell you it gets easier and you cling to that hope like a koala to a eucalyptus plant.
You are not alone.

If the other (sadists) tell you it gets harder when they are older and you chose to ignore them because they are rested, manicured, coiffured and preparing for their family  holiday to the States whilst you can barely breathe with the stress of getting through the day.
You are not alone.

If they tell you to enjoy every minute as they grow up so fast and you just want to be able to enjoy every moment as they preach but in reality want to shout SHUT UP YOU CLEARLY CANNOT REMEMBER HOW TOUGH THIS IS.
You are not alone.

If you miss hanging out with your husband.
You are not alone.

If you are overwhelmed with over when your little person sits between you both on the couch looking adorable. 
You are not alone.

We love our children. We love being Mammy. I know our patience is endless for them. We are human though. We are also not the only ones doing it or finding some of it a struggle.
Mammies. You rock.

Just so you know. When the proverbial hits the fan.
None of us are alone.

There are nuggets of gold hidden amongst those piles of mud and rock.
 
These heartfelt words are written by Orla, who is in her thirties (much to her disbelief), married to a handsome farmer and they have two beautiful little girls. She blogs at www.fancypaperblog.wordpress.com where you can visit to read her other musings!