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If Facebook was in the 90's imagine the memories that would be popping up on our newsfeed!

If Facebook was in the 90's imagine the memories that would be popping up on our newsfeed!

If Facebook was in the 90's imagine the memories that would be popping up on our newsfeed!
I love Facebook  memories, I love getting those little reminders of the days when I had something that resembled a life - when I wasn't  in bed with a toddler at 7 pm every evening,  when I had (slightly ) less baggage under my eyes, and I actually managed to put makeup on before I left the house. I'm at a stage now that my eyebrows are thinning and my waist is thickening, when obviously I'd prefer the opposite to happen. 
Anyway, I got to thinking, imagine if I could see my Facebook memories from the days before I ever worried about getting  my shit together...imagine getting Facebook memories from, say...1993, the more innocent days, when a fat frog was the most delicious ice lolly you could buy, Taytos cost 10p, the Soda Stream was the trendiest gadget found in any kitchen and your biggest dilemma was pondering which member of NKOTB you really wanted to marry or which member of Bros was actually your favourite!  
I reckon they'd go something like this...
I've just gotten a new bottle of white musk, the last one only lasted 3 days, I still don't think I'm wearing enough of it though. I'll try it out tomorrow night, I was sunbathing with baby oil on me today so I need to wait for the burns to turn into tan...I'll just stay in  tonight watching 90210 and learning the words to the new spice girls song from smash hits. I might even get a lend of my sister's tape recorder and record it from Atlantic 252 (if they'd only stop talking over the songs) 
Eugh, I was dancing to Mr. Vain at the waltzers and I was looking so cool , I had my body top and my green levis on, and was doing my big fish little fish, cardboard box dance...when my hair got stuck on my heather shimmer lipstick  and constance Carroll roller lip gloss - I got lip lash across my face, I'm Mooooortifiiied! I wouldn't mind but I had it perfectly lined with my black eyeliner
I heard that Mary shifted John behind Centra last night, I'm heartbroken, I LOVED him! He looked so cool as well in his Chicago Bulls top and his baseball cap, and I could smell the lynx a mile away...she's thinks she's so deadly cos she got her shaggy perm and can get her quiff reeeally high! She can give me back my friend beads now,  and I'm gonna go and buy some tippex to scratch his initials off my homework journal!
I was going to rob dad's fisherman's rib jumper to wear tomorrow to go hang around, but now he's hidden it cos my sister borrowed it and left boob shapes and a smell of exclamation in it and he was goin mental - She's so selfish! 
Mammy had a shit freak yesterday, she just doesn't get am I supposed to wear brand new shiny docs, that would be sooooo embarrassing, I HAD to scratch them off the walls and draw on them in pen and tippex, but she went apeshit,  she's sooooo  cool...NOT!!!
Oh my goooooddddd, I'm sooooo dead, I snuck out to the disco last night, I drank a bottle of Corkyy's AND half of some random fella's peach schnapps and lemonade, and smoked 2 consulates...I ended up getting sick on Jenny's sister's brand new Joe bloggs jeans, and she said she's gonna tell my ma,  I'm gonna be grounded like foreevvvver!!
Jeeesus,  what is a actually wrong with my mother? I swear she turned my mood ring black this afternoon, like I was ready to go out the door and she started going on about "the state of me", I mean seriously,  I had 2 layers of pan stick on so I didn't look like a ghost, I was wearing my waistcoat and my frilly shirt, with my hair up in a scrunchie, I  looked awesome... I think she was still pissed off because I got some glints on the towels when I was washing it out, like, oh my God mutherrr, take a chill pill! 
What a deadly day, we down around and met up with the lads, Jennny was meant to shift Niall but she gibbed it, and she went puce cos we were all jeering her...but she said she'll slow dance with him at the disco on Friday, but the lads kept laughing and calling it 'the erection section,' they're sooooo funny. Then the other lads came along with a naggin of vodka and a pack of John Player Blues, sure we were twwwiiistted!
Nearly September,  can't believe the summer's over and I'm going back to school already, but at least I persuaded the folks to get me a wax jacket and a pair of chunky heel dubarry's, and a pair of O'Neil's trackies, deadly! I've already started decorating my school bag, the girls better not ruin it with East 17 logos, it's Take That all the way on my bag!!!
Ah yessss....93 was a great year, but I think I can safely say I'm glad Facebook isn't holding these memories  (or pictures) for me!!!
Sandra is a loving, cursing, bitching, laughing mother of 3, who spends her days running round in circles, fighting with 20, 6 and 2 year old versions of herself and asking people not to judge her for wearing pyjamas at 6pm...Just trying to get her shit together before she turns 40! 
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