How To Build A Strong Father-Son Bond

As a father, you are his most important role model.

There’s nothing like the father-son relationship. As a boy grows up, there will be many people who influence him and his development into adulthood. As a father, you are his most important role model.  

If you're the father of a little boy, there's a good chance that you know the importance and the benefits of a strong connection and bond with your son. Chances are he idolises you and copies everything you do.    

He will continue this right into adulthood and you can be sure he is watching and learning from everything you do. From imitating the way you read the paper or the way you stand when you talk, to the way you respond to other people.  

He tries to do everything you do and works hard to make sure he has your attention and your approval.  

You can see in your little boy's eyes that he is utterly convinced that you are without a doubt the ultimate man in the world. And if you are a dad whose son has gotten a bit older, you can stop for a moment and smile when you recollect those special days with your young son.  

Father and son on the beach.
He tries to do everything you do and works hard to make sure he has your attention and your approval.

As time goes by, though, your son gets older and your relationship changes. When your son begins to develop into a young man, both of you face challenges that mean working a little bit harder to maintain your bond.   

Here are some ways to ensure a strong bond with your son 

1. Schedule time  

We all lead busy lives, but no matter how packed your schedule is, it's important to set aside time every week to hang out with your son. It doesn't have to be a scheduled big event (though it can be if you want). Choose one evening a week for every father and son pizza night, or make time every Saturday afternoon to play football in the local park with your son.  

It doesn't matter when it is or what you do, just having that time scheduled together every week will strengthen your relationship and give you both something to look forward to. It will also show your son that even though you are busy, he is a priority and spending time with him is too.  

2. Listen  

Don’t be fooled into thinking it is only daughters that have complicated lives. Sons need to vent too! It doesn’t have to be a big gesture. When he has something to tell you just be ready to listen and don’t be afraid to ask him how he is.

Just ask him how things are going over dinner, a movie or whatever. Yes, you may have to pry a bit a first, but stick with it. As soon as he starts opening up, you'll be amazed by how complicated his life is, and just the simple act of listening will bring you closer together.

Father and son laughing together.
Even if you're the kind of guy who doesn't like to express his feelings, you can still let him know how proud you are of him.

3. Curb your criticism  

This can be a hard one, but it's mandatory. No little one is ever going to do exactly what you want all the time, but even if your son's recent actions make you feel more like a prison warden than a dad, don't drag your frustrations into your bonding time.

It doesn't matter if he forgot to put away his dirty clothes, got into a fight at school or was just being cheeky. If you're angry, aggravated or upset enough that you're not going to be able to let it go during your one-on-one time, put off that bonding activity you've got scheduled until you get over those feelings.  

4. Stay positive  

If you really want to bond with your son, canning your criticism isn't going to be enough. You've got to keep a positive attitude when you're around your son. Like everybody else in this world, he just wants to feel loved, and sometimes the best way to show him how much you care is to simply tell him.

Even if you're the kind of guy who doesn't like to express his feelings, you can still let him know how proud you are of him. Point to something he's done recently and tell him that he did a good job, or just make an effort to say something positive to him every day. Of course, a simple "I love you" will also always do the trick.

5. Love his mother  

When you love the mother of your son, you are showing him how to treat his mother, his sisters, and all the women he’ll meet throughout his life. This will set the foundation for the relationships he will have later in his life. If you are divorced and the relationship is difficult, do what you can to treat his mother with respect.  

Laura Doyle

Mum of four, Gentle parent living on coffee and trying always to stay positive and motivate in the midst of the madness.

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