How To Be An Attachment Parent As A Father

The main objective of attachment parenting is responding to your children’s needs. It is about forming a strong bond of attachment from day one. One of the first things that come to mind when we think about attachment parenting is probably breastfeeding. For this reason, it is easy to see how people may associate attachment parenting as something that only the mother does. 

The main objective of attachment parenting is responding to your children’s needs. It is about forming a strong bond of attachment from day one. One of the first things that come to mind when we think about attachment parenting is probably breastfeeding. For this reason, it is easy to see how people may associate attachment parenting as something that only the mother does.
Families come in all shapes and sizes. Some have two mums, two Dads or one parent. Every single parent and caregiver can absolutely practice attachment parenting. If you are anxious about how to be an attachment parent as a father, or if you want to help your own partner understand how they join you, then these tips might just help. 
  • Skin to skin is an excellent place to start. This is not just something that mothers get to experience. It is important for mum and baby to share a lot of skin to skin, particularly when it comes to helping establish breastfeeding, but there is room for you too. As soon as possible try to find even a couple of moments to hold your newborn baby close to your skin. This is the beginning of your beautiful relationship and bond. You may notice that skin-to-skin grows to be something that soothes your baby for many weeks and months. 
  • Be open and supportive when it comes to sleeping arrangements. If co-sleeping is on the cards it will work so much better if everyone is on board. This new experience will have ups and downs but will more than likely bring a huge amount of positives along with it. If you struggle to change your sleeping habits and have an issue with sharing a bed with your partner and child it will certainly make things more difficult. Explore the idea before the baby comes and take the co-sleeping safety guidelines on board so that your sleeping arrangement is completely safe.
  • You can’t breastfeed the baby but you can absolutely support the mother in breastfeeding. A supportive partner is incredibly helpful when establishing breastfeeding and making it work long term. There are so many things that the father can do to make this experience as positive as can be. Fathers can do some research before the baby is born so that they can reassure and guide the mother if she experiences difficulties. The father could be that invaluable support. He could be the person telling mum that it is normal for a baby to feed this often. He could defend her in situations where she feels vulnerable. He could be her biggest cheerleader as she feeds their baby.
  • Being a “hands-on Dad” is a funny old expression but it makes a lot of sense. So much of the care and love that we offer our babies is through our physical contact with them. While those newborn sleepy cuddles are wonderful it is also important to share the load when it comes to changing nappies, clothes and dealing with poorly babies. These are some of the times when our babies are most vulnerable. Knowing that you are there to make them feel better is a huge part of the trust and attachment that is forming.
  • Baby-wearing is a great way to hold your baby close and still get things done. It is something that both the mother and father can do. Familiarise yourself with the different styles and patterns during the pregnancy so that it is a decision you make together as a unit. It is a really lovely experience and one that makes days out and household chores a lot more manageable. 
Written by Tracey Quinn staff writer at FFHQ who also blogs at www.loveofliving.ie.

Tracey Quinn

Proud mum of two who got married on Don't Tell The Bride and had an accidental home-birth (loves a good story). She's passionate about breastfeeding, positive thinking & all things cosy.

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